At first sight it may seem difficult to assign any use to the pride, the hyperbole, and the mixed moods which are component elements of love; but they are of value inasmuch as they exalt the mind, and give to the beloved such prominence and importance that the way is paved for the altruistic ingredients of romantic love, the utility of which is so obvious that it hardly needs to be hinted at.  If love were nothing more than a lesson in altruism—­with many the first and only lesson in their lives—­it would be second in importance to no other factor of civilization.  Sympathy lifts the lover out of the deep groove of selfishness, teaching him the miracle of feeling another’s pains and pleasures more keenly than his own.  Man’s adoration of woman as a superior being—­which she really is, as the distinctively feminine virtues are more truly Christian and have a higher ethical value than the masculine virtues—­creates an ideal which has improved women by making them ambitious to live up to it.  No one, again, who has read the preceding pages relating to the treatment of women before romantic love existed, and compares it with their treatment at present, can fail to recognize the wonderful transformation brought about by gallantry and self-sacrifice—­altruistic habits which have changed men from ruffians to gentlemen.  I do not say that love alone is responsible for this improvement, but it has been one of the most potent factors.  Finally, there is affection, which, in conjunction with the other altruistic ingredients of love, has changed it from an appetite like that of a fly for sugar to a self-oblivious devotion like a mother’s for her child, thus raising it to the highest ethical rank as an agency of culture.

We are still very far from the final stage in the evolution of love.  There is no reason to doubt that it will continue to develop, as in the past, in the direction of the esthetic, supersensual, and altruistic.  As a physician’s eye becomes trained for the subtle diagnosis of disease, a clergyman’s for the diagnosis of moral evil, so will the love-instinct become more and more expert, critical, and refined, rejecting those who are vicious or diseased.  Compare the lustrous eyes of a consumptive girl with the sparkling eyes of a healthy maiden in buoyant spirits.  Both are beautiful, but to a doctor, or to anyone else who knows the deadliness and horrors of tuberculosis, the beauty of the consumptive girl’s eyes will seem uncanny, like the charm of a snake, and it will inspire pity, which in this case is not akin to love, but fatal to it.  Thus may superior knowledge influence our sense of beauty and liability to fall in love.  I know a man who was in love with a girl and had made up his mind to propose.  He went to call on her, and as he approached the door he heard her abusing her mother in the most heartless manner.  He did not ring the bell, and never called again.  His love was of the highest type, but he suppressed his feelings.