disgraceful for her to show her love to her husband.  This contempt for men goes so far that if a wife laments the death of her husband who has died without issue, her companions taunt her....  One often hears women abuse their husbands or other men in the most obscene language, even on the street, and the men do not dare to make the least retort.”  “The wife can at any time return to her mother’s house, and remain there months, sending word to her husband that he may come to her if he cares for her.”

NO CHANCE FOR ROMANTIC LOVE

The causes of this singular effeminacy of the men and masculinity of the women are not indicated by Munzinger; but so much is clear that, although the tables are turned, Cupid is again left in the cold.  Nor is there any romance in the courtship which leads to such hen-pecked conjugal life: 

“The children are often married very early, and engaged earlier still.  The bridegroom goes with his companions to fetch his bride; but after having talked with her parents he returns without having seen her.  The bride thereafter remains another whole year with her parents.  After its expiration the bridegroom sends women and a camel to bring her to his home; she is taken away with her tent, but the bridal escort is often fooled by the substitution in the bride’s place of another girl, who allows herself to be taken along, carefully veiled, and after the village has been left behind betrays herself and runs away.”

These Beni Amer are of course far superior in culture to the Bushmen, Hottentots, Kaffirs, and West Coast peoples we have been considering so far, having long been in contact with Oriental influences.  It is therefore as strange as it is instructive to note that as soon as a race becomes civilized enough to feel a kind of love exalted above mere sensuality, special pains are taken to interpose fresh obstacles, as in the above case, where it is good form to suppress all affection, and where a young man may not see his bride even after engagement.  This last custom seems to be of common occurrence in this part of Africa.  Munzinger (387) says of the Kunama:  “As among the border peoples engagements are often made at a very early age, after which time bride and bridegroom avoid each other;” and again (147) concerning the region of Massua, on the Red Sea: 

“From the day of the engagement the young man is obliged to carefully avoid the bride and her mother.  The desire to see her after the engagement is considered very improper, and often leads to a breaking-up of the affair.  If the youth meets the girl accidentally, she veils her face and her friends surround her to cover her from the bridegroom’s sight.”

PASTORAL LOVE