Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 44 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 44 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890.
now accustomed nightly to do, and protest he has no statement to make, than I think of the little TERRY in this Scene, and her wailing, piteous cry, ’I have seen nothing, I have heard nothing.’  Quite time he had, though.  If Ministers can’t make up their minds, what’s the House to do?  Begin to think if things don’t mend soon, I shall have a better record of business done to show at end of Session than the Ministry.  Bankruptcy Bill will make three Measures to me this Session.”

[Illustration:  “THE SHADOWLESS MAN.”

(Latest Irish Edition of the Old German Romance.)

[In the course of the Debate last Monday week, Mr. DILLON said, “I was never shadowed."]]

Irish Constabulary Vote on; Prince ARTHUR lounging on Treasury Bench; prepares to receive Irishry; engagement opens a little flat, with speech from JOHN ELLIS, oration from O’PICTON, and feeble flagellation from FLYNN.  Then Prince ARTHUR suddenly, unexpectedly, dashes in.  Empty benches fill up; stagnant pool stirred to profoundest depths:  ARTHUR professes to be tolerant of Irish Members, but declares himself abhorrent of connivance of Right Hon. Gentleman above Gangway.  Talks at Mr. G., who begins visibly to bristle before our very eyes as he sits attentive on Front Bench.  ARTHUR in fine fighting trim; Ministerial bark may be labouring in troubled waters; a suddenly gathered storm, coming from all quarters, has surrounded, and threatens to whelm it; MATTHEWS may be sinking under adversity; the Postmen may pull down RAIKES; GOSCHEN is gone; OLD MORALITY’S cheerful nature is being soured; there is talk of Dissolution, and death.  But if this is Prince ARTHUR’S last time of defending his rule in Ireland, it shall not be done in half-hearted way.  Come storm, come wrack, at least he’ll die with harness on his back.

The accused becomes the accuser.  Called upon to defend himself, he turns, and makes a slashing attack on his pursuers, carrying the war into their camp.  Scorning the Captains and Men-at-arms, he goes straight for Mr. G., and in an instant swords clash across the table, and shields are dinted.  Nothing more delightful than to hear Mr. G. complaining, as he rose, and took his coat off, that Prince ARTHUR had “dragged him into the controversy.”  On the whole, he bore the infliction pretty well, and went for ARTHUR neck and crop. Business done.—­Irish Votes in Supply.

Tuesday.—­“I have seen nothing; I have heard nothing.”  Pathetic refrain of OLD MORALITY murmured again to-night:  Members wanted to know about various things; but in OLD MORALITY’S mind, fate of the Tithes Bill, intentions of Government touching proposed new Standing Order, and allocation of money originally intended for Publicans, all a blank.  “We are still considering,” says he.

“A most considerate Government,” says WILFRID LAWSON.  “Might save time and trouble if they had at table an automatic machine; Members wanting to know how business is to be arranged, what Bills to be dropped, and which gone forward with, could go up to table, drop a penny in the slot, and out would come the answer—­’I have seen nothing; I have heard nothing.’”

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.