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[Illustration:  THE THEORIST.]

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From a review of a novel:—­

“Joan is pretty, and Stewart Austen ... asks her to marry him.  Joan refuses indignantly on the ground that his views and conduct are opposed to those which as a member of a Suffrage Society she is pledged to eradicate.”—­The Saturday Westminster.

Why the lady should resent her lover’s endorsement of her own opinions is just one of those things that no fellah (unless he is a reviewer) can understand.

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“Besides being Paul Von Hindenburg’s second self, Ludendorff is the transportation expert of the Central Powers.  He was ordered to go to the industrial cities along the Rhine and the Rhone rivers.”—­Evening Paper.

It is a pity that the second part of this enterprise had for geographical reasons to be abandoned, for we understand that Lyons would have given him a particularly warm reception.

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    “The Canadian Club gave a luncheon to-day in honour of the
    Canadian Highlanders, who have been a picturesque feature
    of the British recruiting week in New York....

“An exciting incident occurred during the luncheon, when two German waiters were ejected from the room.  The Highlanders now go to Chicago to make a similar demonstration.”—­Morning Paper.

As nothing more has been heard of the matter, it is supposed that the Germans in Chicago prudently refused to wait for them.