Chorus. 
  Beyond the distant bower,
    Where skirted men abide
  And in an uncouth language
    Their skirted children chide;
  Beyond the land of sunshine,
    Where never skies are blue,
  There lives a silent people
    Who know a thing or two. 
  All is not gold that glitters,
    And sirops are rather sad;
  All is not Bass that’s “bitters,”
    And Gallic beer is bad;
  But out of the misty regions
    Where loom the mountains tall
  There comes the drink of princes—­
    Whisky, the best of all.

Staff O.  This is my seventh drink, and yet, alas! 
  The Colonel comes not.

Captain.  Fill another glass.

Staff O.  I will [he does].  The bottle’s finished, I’m afraid.

Captain.  It does not matter.  I drink lemonade.

L. of C. A doom descends upon this house, I fear;
  That was the only bottle left us here.

Enter Herald.

Herald.  The Colonel comes.  Let no ill-omened word
  Escape the barrier of your teeth.  I heard
  Men say his temper’s in an awful state;
  Therefore beware lest some untoward fate
  Befall you; and—­I do not think I’ll wait.

Enter Colonel.

He sees empty whisky-bottle, looks at Staff Officer, and—­

[Here the fragment leaves off.

* * * * *

“Turnouts.  Odd colour miniature pony, 36in. high, used to children, coming 5 years, and Swiss governess and brown harness; can be seen any time, a miniature lot; L25.”—­The Bazaar, Exchange and Mart.

It may be right to turn out aliens, but is not this rather hard on the miniature Swiss Governess?

* * * * *

    From an auctioneer’s advertisement:  “Grandfather Clocks, and
    other Arms and Armour.”—­Manchester Guardian.

In these days even our oldest clocks are expected to strike for their country.

* * * * *

  “Herr Harden says:—­

    “’The aim of our enemies is—­
    Democracy;
    The right of nations to self-government;
    An honest, and not merely a specious, diminution of arguments.’”
      —­Provincial Paper.

So far as this last aim is concerned the German Government appears to agree with the Allies, for it has just suppressed Herr HARDEN’s journal.

* * * * *

DAVID.