* * * * *

“Once or twice in the course of his speech Mr. Macdonald spoke of himself and his Labour friends as ‘we.’  ‘Who are “we"?’ sharply challenged Mr. Wardle, reviving a question familiar in the annals of split parties.  ’You knof perfectly wel thlat you are not inclueddin the “we,"’ was the retort.”—­Manchester Guardian.

Pretty crushing, wasn’t it?

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Betty (after flash of lightning).  “COUNT QUICKLY, JENNY!  MAKE IT AS FAR AWAY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.”]

* * * * *

FRAGMENT OF A TRAGEDY.

Dramatis Personae.  A Staff Officer.  A Colonel.  A Captain.  A Herald.  Chorus of Officers’ Servants and Orderlies.

SCENE.—­Exterior of Battalion Headquarters Dug-out.

Leader of Chorus. 
  Ho! friends, a stranger cometh; by his dress
  Some nobleman of leisure, I should guess;
  Come, let us seem to labour, lest he strafe;
  A soldier ever eye-washes the Staff.

Chorus start work, singing. 
  Brighter than the queenly rose,
    Brighter than the setting sun,
  Brighter than old Ginger’s nose
    The raiment of the gilded one.

  The red tab points towards each breast,
    The red band binds his forehead stern;
  The rainbow ribbons on his chest
    Proclaim what fires within him burn.

  Upon his throne amid the din
    He sits serene—­yet sometimes stoops
  To take a kindly interest in
    The trousers issued to the troops.

Enter Staff Officer.

Staff Officer.  Ho, slaves! your Colonel seeking have I come.

L. of C. This is his house, but he is far from home.

Staff O. And whither gone?  Reply without delay.

L. of C. Ask of the Captain.  See, he comes this way.

Enter Captain from dug-out.

Captain.  Immaculate stranger, hail!  What lucky chance
  Has brought you to this dirty bit of France?

Staff O.  Not chance.  A conscientious Brigadier
  Has sent me hither.

Captain.  And what seek you here?

Staff.  I seek your Colonel.

Captain.  He is up the line. 
  ’Tis said the foe will soon explode a mine,
  And we must be prepared should he attack.

Staff O.  I think I will await his coming back.

Captain.  Then chance to me at least has been most kind;
  Come, let me lead you where a drink you’ll find.

[They enter dug-out and are seen relieving their thirst.