***

Asked by the Wood Green magistrates for the names of his six children, a defendant said that he did not know them.  It is a good plan for a man to get his wife to introduce him to the children.

***

It appears that a certain gentleman has managed to overcome the domestic servant problem.  He has married one.

***

A Salford man giving evidence in a local court told the magistrates that his wife had repeatedly stuck pins into him.  There is no excuse for such conduct, even with pin-cushions at their present inflated price.

***

No one seemed to take the rat-plague very seriously in the Isle of Wight until last week, when several rodents were discovered at the Seaplane Station at Bembridge busily engaged in trying on the pilots’ flying coats.

***

It is only fair to remark that, although the Government has recently been found guilty of profiteering, they have never during the War raised the price:  of their ten-shilling notes.

***

Much difficulty is being experienced by the Allies in deciding what. to do with the German Fleet.  Curiously enough this is the very dilemma that the Germans were faced with during most of the War.

***

We hear that the officials at Lincoln prison are much impressed by the cleverness of de VALERA’S escape and are anxious to present him with an illuminated address, but unfortunately they do not know it at present.

***

A scientific organ points out that in deciding the fate of Heligoland it should not be forgotten that it was once a valuable ornithological observation station.  The almost extinct Pavo Potsdamicus, if we remember correctly, was an occasional visitor to the island.

***

Congress, says a Washington message, is anxious to get back to domestic business.  It does not say whose.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Strange case in pugilistic circles.

A reporter learns from bill SLOGGS that he is nothing like as Hard as
Nails and not the least confident.]

* * * * *

    “‘Easter and Peace will coincide,’ declared a member of the
    Council of Ten to the Central News correspondent in Paris.”

    “Easter Day this year is on April 20—­less than six hours
    hence.”—­Evening Paper, March 12th.

How some of our journalists do jump to conclusions!

* * * * *

The Mud larks.