Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 12, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 43 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 12, 1890.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 12, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 43 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 12, 1890.

Business done.—­In the Commons, spurt to start with; four Bills advanced a stage; then House floundered in Western Australia.

Tuesday.—­“Wish you’d get yourself made a Peer, TOBY,” said DENMAN, gloomily.  “Not difficult, I understand; BRABOURNE will tell you how it’s done; unlike the Poet, a Peer is either born or made; AYLESBURY, for example, was born; BRABOURNE was made.  As you weren’t born, you must be made.  Baron BOUVERIE-STREET would look very well in the Peerage.  You’ve only to ask (BRABOURNE knows); keep on asking, and in meantime make yourself disagreeable in the Commons, and the thing is done.”

Very much obliged to DENMAN; quite kind of him to take this interest in me; but why so anxious on the point?

“I’ll tell you frankly, TOBY.  I want to create a Party here, and you’d do admirably to begin with.  A Statesman, however capable, no use without a Party.  You know that very well in the Commons.  Everybody there has a Party.  I am all by myself here, and the MARKISS and the rest put upon me.  Now if I had a Party—­”

“HANS BREITMANN had one, you know,” I say, liking to humour DENMAN, who is evidently in low spirits.

[Illustration:  A Hot ’Un for the City.]

“Had he?  Where did he sit for?  Never heard of him; however, as I was saying, if I had a Party I should make the MARKISS sit up.”

In the meantime, I gather they have been making DENMAN sit down.  Debate on about Sheriff’s Assizes Expenses Bill.  DENMAN had something useful to say.  Approached table; ESHER got up at same moment.  Peers impatiently called for ESHER; DENMAN ignored petty insult; commenced his speech; sentences drowned in hubbub; ESHER resumed seat; MARKISS approached table; DENMAN drew himself up to full height, and glared on MARKISS.  Knew of old his jealousy of him; stops at no means of gratifying it; now moves, “That Lord ESHER be heard.”  LORD CHANCELLOR, that minion of the majority, promptly puts question, and declares it carried.  For a moment DENMAN stands irresolutely at table, looking round.  Suppose he were to lightly skip on to table, and, standing there, defy them all?  Suppose he were to lower his head, and run a-butt at the stomach of the LORD CHANCELLOR?  What delight to topple him over—­to see his heels rise in the air, and disappear with rest of his body at other side of Woolsack!  DENMAN laughed to think he should see such fun.  Content for the present with contemplation of it, and so resumed seat.  “But I’ll form a Party,” said he; “have my own Whips, and shake this effete Government to its foundation.”

Business done.—­In Commons:  a dull night, lighted up by luminous speech from RATHBONE on Government of Western Australia.

Wednesday.—­House hard at work all afternoon on Directors’ Liability Bill.  WARMINGTON in charge of measure; intends to make it warm for Guinea-pigs.  ROPER LETHBRIDGE, DIXON HARTLAND, JAMES MACLEAN, and KIMBER, Q.C., protest at length.  ROBERT FOWLER, Bart., breaks into lava flood of burning eloquence.  If the Bill is carried, what is to become of the City?

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 12, 1890 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.