We went tearing along in a most exhilarating way, and I performed the delicate duties of my office very well indeed for a first attempt; but perceiving, presently, that I really was going to shoot the bridge itself instead of the archway under it, I judiciously stepped ashore.  The next moment I had my long-coveted desire:  I saw a raft wrecked.  It hit the pier in the center and went all to smash and scatteration like a box of matches struck by lightning.

I was the only one of our party who saw this grand sight; the others were attitudinizing, for the benefit of the long rank of young ladies who were promenading on the bank, and so they lost it.  But I helped to fish them out of the river, down below the bridge, and then described it to them as well as I could.

They were not interested, though.  They said they were wet and felt ridiculous and did not care anything for descriptions of scenery.  The young ladies, and other people, crowded around and showed a great deal of sympathy, but that did not help matters; for my friends said they did not want sympathy, they wanted a back alley and solitude.

CHAPTER XX [My Precious, Priceless Tear-Jug]

Next morning brought good news—­our trunks had arrived from Hamburg at last.  Let this be a warning to the reader.  The Germans are very conscientious, and this trait makes them very particular.  Therefore if you tell a German you want a thing done immediately, he takes you at your word; he thinks you mean what you say; so he does that thing immediately—­according to his idea of immediately —­which is about a week; that is, it is a week if it refers to the building of a garment, or it is an hour and a half if it refers to the cooking of a trout.  Very well; if you tell a German to send your trunk to you by “slow freight,” he takes you at your word; he sends it by “slow freight,” and you cannot imagine how long you will go on enlarging your admiration of the expressiveness of that phrase in the German tongue, before you get that trunk.  The hair on my trunk was soft and thick and youthful, when I got it ready for shipment in Hamburg; it was baldheaded when it reached Heidelberg.  However, it was still sound, that was a comfort, it was not battered in the least; the baggagemen seemed to be conscientiously careful, in Germany, of the baggage entrusted to their hands.  There was nothing now in the way of our departure, therefore we set about our preparations.

Naturally my chief solicitude was about my collection of Ceramics.  Of course I could not take it with me, that would be inconvenient, and dangerous besides.  I took advice, but the best brick-a-brackers were divided as to the wisest course to pursue; some said pack the collection and warehouse it; others said try to get it into the Grand Ducal Museum at Mannheim for safe keeping.  So I divided the collection, and followed the advice of both parties.  I set aside, for the Museum, those articles which were the most frail and precious.