In that large audience, that night, there were eight very conspicuous people.  These were ladies who had their hats or bonnets on.  What a blessed thing it would be if a lady could make herself conspicuous in our theaters by wearing her hat.  It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies and gentlemen to take bonnets, hats, overcoats, canes, or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in Mannheim this rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely made up of people from a distance, and among these were always a few timid ladies who were afraid that if they had to go into an anteroom to get their things when the play was over, they would miss their train.  But the great mass of those who came from a distance always ran the risk and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train to a breach of good manners and the discomfort of being unpleasantly conspicuous during a stretch of three or four hours.

CHAPTER X [How Wagner Operas Bang Along]

Three or four hours.  That is a long time to sit in one place, whether one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner’s operas bang along for six whole hours on a stretch!  But the people sit there and enjoy it all, and wish it would last longer.  A German lady in Munich told me that a person could not like Wagner’s music at first, but must go through the deliberate process of learning to like it—­then he would have his sure reward; for when he had learned to like it he would hunger for it and never be able to get enough of it.  She said that six hours of Wagner was by no means too much.  She said that this composer had made a complete revolution in music and was burying the old masters one by one.  And she said that Wagner’s operas differed from all others in one notable respect, and that was that they were not merely spotted with music here and there, but were all music, from the first strain to the last.  This surprised me.  I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found hardly any music in it except the Wedding Chorus.  She said “Lohengrin” was noisier than Wagner’s other operas, but that if I would keep on going to see it I would find by and by that it was all music, and therefore would then enjoy it.  I could have said, “But would you advise a person to deliberately practice having a toothache in the pit of his stomach for a couple of years in order that he might then come to enjoy it?” But I reserved that remark.

This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor who had performed in a Wagner opera the night before, and went on to enlarge upon his old and prodigious fame, and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the princely houses of Germany.  Here was another surprise.  I had attended that very opera, in the person of my agent, and had made close and accurate observations.  So I said: 

“Why, madam, my experience warrants me in stating that that tenor’s voice is not a voice at all, but only a shriek—­the shriek of a hyena.”