We crossed to England, and then made the homeward passage in the Cunarder Gallia, a very fine ship.  I was glad to get home—­immeasurably glad; so glad, in fact, that it did not seem possible that anything could ever get me out of the country again.  I had not enjoyed a pleasure abroad which seemed to me to compare with the pleasure I felt in seeing New York harbor again.  Europe has many advantages which we have not, but they do not compensate for a good many still more valuable ones which exist nowhere but in our own country.  Then we are such a homeless lot when we are over there!  So are Europeans themselves, for the matter.  They live in dark and chilly vast tombs—­costly enough, maybe, but without conveniences.  To be condemned to live as the average European family lives would make life a pretty heavy burden to the average American family.

On the whole, I think that short visits to Europe are better for us than long ones.  The former preserve us from becoming Europeanized; they keep our pride of country intact, and at the same time they intensify our affection for our country and our people; whereas long visits have the effect of dulling those feelings—­at least in the majority of cases.  I think that one who mixes much with Americans long resident abroad must arrive at this conclusion.

Appendix ----------

Nothing gives such weight and dignity to a book as an Appendix.  Herodotus

APPENDIX A The Portier

Omar Khay’am, the poet-prophet of Persia, writing more than eight hundred years ago, has said: 

“In the four parts of the earth are many that are able to write learned books, many that are able to lead armies, and many also that are able to govern kingdoms and empires; but few there be that can keep a hotel.”

A word about the European hotel portier.  He is a most admirable invention, a most valuable convenience.  He always wears a conspicuous uniform; he can always be found when he is wanted, for he sticks closely to his post at the front door; he is as polite as a duke; he speaks from four to ten languages; he is your surest help and refuge in time of trouble or perplexity.  He is not the clerk, he is not the landlord; he ranks above the clerk, and represents the landlord, who is seldom seen.  Instead of going to the clerk for information, as we do at home, you go to the portier.  It is the pride of our average hotel clerk to know nothing whatever; it is the pride of the portier to know everything.  You ask the portier at what hours the trains leave—­he tells you instantly; or you ask him who is the best physician in town; or what is the hack tariff; or how many children the mayor has; or what days the galleries are open, and whether a permit is required, and where you are to get it, and what you must pay for it; or when the theaters open and close, what the plays are to be, and the price of seats; or what