I am, Madam, with the most profound veneration,

Your most faithful humble servant,
J. Belford.

LETTER LXXI

Miss Clarissa Harlowe, to John Belford, ESQ. 
Friday, Aug. 4.

SIR,

I hold myself extremely obliged to you for your communications.  I will make no use of them, that you shall have reason to reproach either yourself or me with.  I wanted no new lights to make the unhappy man’s premeditated baseness to me unquestionable, as my answer to Miss Montague’s letter might convince you.*

* See Letter LXVIII. of this volume.

I must own, in his favour, that he has observed some decency in his accounts to you of the most indecent and shocking actions.  And if all his strangely-communicative narrations are equally decent, nothing will be rendered criminally odious by them, but the vile heart that could meditate such contrivances as were much stronger evidences of his inhumanity than of his wit:  since men of very contemptible parts and understanding may succeed in the vilest attempts, if they can once bring themselves to trample on the sanctions which bind man to man; and sooner upon an innocent person than upon any other; because such a one is apt to judge of the integrity of others’ hearts by its own.

I find I have had great reason to think myself obliged to your intention in the whole progress of my sufferings.  It is, however, impossible, Sir, to miss the natural inference on this occasion that lies against his predetermined baseness.  But I say the less, because you shall not think I borrow, from what you have communicated, aggravations that are not needed.

And now, Sir, that I may spare you the trouble of offering any future arguments in his favour, let me tell you that I have weighed every thing thoroughly—­all that human vanity could suggest—­all that a desirable reconciliation with my friends, and the kind respects of his own, could bid me hope for—­the enjoyment of Miss Howe’s friendship, the dearest consideration to me, now, of all the worldly ones—­all these I have weighed:  and the result is, and was before you favoured me with these communications, that I have more satisfaction in the hope that, in one month, there will be an end of all with me, than in the most agreeable things that could happen from an alliance with Mr. Lovelace, although I were to be assured he would make the best and tenderest of husbands.  But as to the rest; if, satisfied with the evils he has brought upon me, he will forbear all further persecutions of me, I will, to my last hour, wish him good:  although he hath overwhelmed the fatherless, and digged a pit for his friend:  fatherless may she well be called, and motherless too, who has been denied all paternal protection, and motherly forgiveness.