As time went on, she had reason to believe that things did not point to happiness.  She could not shut her eyes to certain disturbing facts, amongst which were the existence of Lady Arabella and her growing intimacy with Edgar Caswall; as well as his own cold and haughty nature, so little in accord with the ardour which is the foundation of a young maid’s dreams of happiness.  How things would, of necessity, alter if she were to marry, she was afraid to think.  All told, the prospect was not happy for her, and she had a secret longing that something might occur to upset the order of things as at present arranged.

When Lilla received a note from Edgar Caswall asking if he might come to tea on the following afternoon, her heart sank within her.  If it was only for her father’s sake, she must not refuse him or show any disinclination which he might construe into incivility.  She missed Mimi more than she could say or even dared to think.  Hitherto, she had always looked to her cousin for sympathy, for understanding, for loyal support.  Now she and all these things, and a thousand others—­gentle, assuring, supporting—­were gone.  And instead there was a horrible aching void.

For the whole afternoon and evening, and for the following forenoon, poor Lilla’s loneliness grew to be a positive agony.  For the first time she began to realise the sense of her loss, as though all the previous suffering had been merely a preparation.  Everything she looked at, everything she remembered or thought of, became laden with poignant memory.  Then on the top of all was a new sense of dread.  The reaction from the sense of security, which had surrounded her all her life, to a never-quieted apprehension, was at times almost more than she could bear.  It so filled her with fear that she had a haunting feeling that she would as soon die as live.  However, whatever might be her own feelings, duty had to be done, and as she had been brought up to consider duty first, she braced herself to go through, to the very best of her ability, what was before her.

Still, the severe and prolonged struggle for self-control told upon Lilla.  She looked, as she felt, ill and weak.  She was really in a nerveless and prostrate condition, with black circles round her eyes, pale even to her lips, and with an instinctive trembling which she was quite unable to repress.  It was for her a sad mischance that Mimi was away, for her love would have seen through all obscuring causes, and have brought to light the girl’s unhappy condition of health.  Lilla was utterly unable to do anything to escape from the ordeal before her; but her cousin, with the experience of her former struggles with Mr. Caswall and of the condition in which these left her, would have taken steps—­even peremptory ones, if necessary—­to prevent a repetition.