With sulphuretted hydrogen they bathed his wiggly ears;
  They trimmed his frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
  Then they donned their rubber mittens and they took him by the hand
  And elected him a member of the fumigated band. 
  Now there’s not a micrococcus in the garden where they play
  And they bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day,
  Taking each his daily ration from a hygienic cup,
  The baby and the bunny and the prophylactic pup.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE QUESTION OF PEACE CELEBRATIONS IS BEING CONSIDERED BY A COMMITTEE OF THE CABINET.]

* * * * *

RAPID PROMOTION.

    “Cpl.  A.A.C.  Earl of Shaftesbury, K.P., K.C.V.O., relinquishes
    his appt. (March 1), and is granted the hon. rank of
    Brig.-Gen.”—­Daily Paper.

* * * * *

FROM THE STREET OF ADVENTURE.

Journalistic reconstructions and amalgamations have been proceeding so rapidly and extensively of late that there seems no end to the kaleidoscopic possibilities of the future.

Up to the present, however, no confirmation can be obtained of the startling rumor that The Spectator has been purchased by the proprietors of The Kennel Gazette, and will henceforth be devoted to the interests of our four-footed friends, the supplements being restricted to purely feline amenities.

Another persistent rumour, which hitherto lacks the seal of official corroboration, is to the effect that The Guardian is to be given a new range of activity as the organ of scientific spiritualism, under the title of The Guardian Angel and the joint editorship of Sir Oliver Doyle and Sir Conan Lodge.  The investigations into multiple consciousness conducted by these two eminent savants have proved their mutual convertibility to such an extent that they have decided upon this rearrangement of their names.  If the scheme materialises the stimulating collaboration of Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE is a foregone conclusion, and there is even a possibility of contributions from an August Exile somewhere in Holland.

A third report maintains with minute circumstantiality that the proprietors of The Economist, having come to the conclusion that this journal needs brightening, have decided to entrust the post of principal leader-writer to “CALLISTHENES,” and retain the services of the authoress of The Tunnel as financial feuilleton writer.  But on enquiry at the London School of Economics we could not obtain any definite information.

The rumours that The Morning Post is about to be merged in The Winning Post, and that Mr. MAXSE is starting an evening paper, to be called The Job and Caviller, are extremely interesting, but need to be received with a certain amount of caution.