so beautiful! She called him ‘Father!’
Tha word had touched his brain, as lightning cuts
a tree. He looked around him with a distracted
air, then gazed on the tranced form he held with a
glance which would have penetrated her soul, and murmured
unconsciously the wild word she had uttered.
She called him ‘Father!’ He dared not think
who she might be. His thoughts were wandering
in a distant land; visions of another life, another
country, rose before him, troubled and obscure.
Baffled aspirations, and hopes blighted in the bud,
and the cherished secrets of his lorn existence, clustered
like clouds upon his perplexed, yet creative, brain.
She called him, ‘Father!’ It was a word
to make him mad. ‘Father!’ This beautiful
being had called him ‘Father,’ and seemed
to have expired, as it were, in the irresistible expression.
His heart yearned to her; he had met her embrace with
an inexplicable sympathy; her devotion had seemed,
as it were, her duty and his right. Yet who was
she? He was a father. It was a fact, a fact
alike full of solace and mortification, the consciousness
of which never deserted him. But he was the father
of an unknown child; to him the child of his poetic
dreams, rather than his reality. And now there
came this radiant creature, and called him ‘Father!’
Was he awake, and in the harsh busy world; or was it
the apparition of au over-excited imagination, brooding
too constantly on one fond idea, on which he now gazed
so fixedly? Was this some spirit? Would
that she would speak again! Would that those sealed
lips would part and utter but one word, would but
again call him ‘Father,’ and he asked
no more!
‘Father!’ to be called ‘Father’
by one whom he could not name, by one over whom he
mused in solitude, by one to whom he had poured forth
all the passion of his desolate soul; to be called
‘Father’ by this being was the aspiring
secret of his life. He had painted her to himself
in his loneliness, he had conjured up dreams of ineffable
loveliness, and inexpressible love; he had led with
her an imaginary life of thrilling tenderness; he
had indulged in a delicious fancy of mutual interchange
of the most exquisite offices of our nature; and then,
when he had sometimes looked around him, and found
no daughter there, no beaming countenance of purity
to greet him with its constant smile, and receive
the quick and ceaseless tribute of his vigilant affection,
the tears had stolen down his lately-excited features,
all the consoling beauty of his visions had vanished
into air, he had felt the deep curse of his desolation,
and had anathematised the cunning brain that made
his misery a thousand-fold keener by the mockery of
its transporting illusions.
And now there came this transcendent creature, with
a form more glowing than all his dreams; a voice more
musical than a seraphic chorus, though it had uttered
but one thrilling word: there came this transcendent
creature, beaming with grace, beauty, and love, and
had fallen upon his heart, and called him ‘Father!’