Dalrymple winked and handed me the cigars.

I fancy he is a fraud.

* * * * *

    “AEROPLANE FLIGHT TO INDIA.

    “PREPARATIONS FOR DECEPTION IN DELHI.”—­Englishman
    (Calcutta).

But the aviators, in order that there might be no doubt about their bona fides, wisely landed at Karachi.

* * * * *

MY SERGEANT-MAJOR-DOMO.

  When WILSON has abolished War
  And grim Bellona claims no more
    The greatest of her sons,
  What job has Peace to offer thee
  That shall fulfil thy destiny,
    O Sergeant-Major Buns?

  Shall thy great voice, at whose behests
  Trembled a hundred martial breasts,
    Be heard without a smile
  Urging astonished Cingalese
  To tap the tapering rubber trees
    Upon their distant isle?

  Shall thy dread presence clothed in tweed
  Be seen, O Buns, without the meed
    Of some regretful sigh,
  Fresh from the triumphs of the trench
  Upon the Opposition Bench
    Begging the SPEAKER’S eye?

  Nay, rather let thy mighty mind
  At length its true vocation find
    In the domestic sphere;
  The trivial round, the common task
  Shall furnish all thou needst to ask—­
    There shalt thou earn thy beer.

  Yes, thou shalt play a worthy role,
  Thou great unconquerable soul,
    Within my humble flat;
  For when thy voice shall thunder, “Where
  Is master’s cream?” what maid shall dare
    Invoke the mystic cat?

  And what or volatile Miss Gripps? 
  The weekly notice on her lips
    Shall wither at thy look. 
  And still one triumph waits for thee—­
  And, oh! may I be there to see—­
    When thou shalt face my cook!

* * * * *

    “DATE FIXED FOR HANGING RETAILERS.”—­Provincial Paper.

And some of them richly deserve it.

* * * * *

    “The League will reconsider traety obligations from time
    to time.

    “The League will reconsider traeyt obligations from time
    to time.”—­Evening Paper.

And then the printer gave it up.

* * * * *

“A Handley Page, with two Rolls-Royce engines, was the first and only machine to fly to India, and was the first and only machine to fly to India, and is the second to fly to India.”—­Daily Paper.

Not the third and only, as for the moment we were tempted to believe.

* * * * *

    “Young Educated Girl Pupil Wanted, help animals; live
    clergyman’s family; pocket-money.”—­Newcastle Journal.

We are glad to hear of a really live clergyman.  So many parsons nowadays are accused of being dead-alive.