The 30th, I went abroad with my gun, but not far, and killed a sea-fowl or two, resembling a brand goose, which, however, I cared not to eat when I brought them home, but dined on two more of the turtle’s eggs.  In the evening I renewed my medicine, excepting that I did not take so large a quantity, neither did I chew the leaf, or hold my head over the smoke:  but the next day, which was the 1st of July, having a little return of the cold fit, I again took my medicine as I did the first time.

July 3.  The fit quite left me, but very weak.  In this condition, I often thought of these words, I will deliver thee; and while, at some times, I would think of the impossibility of it, other thoughts would reprehend me for disregarding the deliverances I had received, even from the most forlorn and distressed condition.  I asked myself, what regard have I had to God for his abundant mercies?  Have I done my part_:  He has delivered me, but I have not glorified him:_—­as if I had said, I had not owned and been thankful for these as deliverances, and how could I expect greater?  So much did this sensibly touch my heart, that I gave God thanks for my recovery from weakness in the most humble prostration.

July 4.  This morning I began seriously to ponder on what is written in the New Testament, resolving to read a chapter every morning and night as long an my thoughts would engage me.  As soon as I set about this work seriously, I found my heart deeply affected with the impiety of my past life; these words that I thought were spoken to me in my dream revived, All these things have not brought thee to repentance. After this, I begged of God to assist me with his Holy Spirit in returning to my duty.  One day in perusing the Scriptures, I came to these words, He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance and to give remission:  Immediately I laid down the book, and with uplifted hands to Heaven, loudly cried, O blessed Jesus, thou son of David, Jesus, thou exalted Prince and Saviour, give we repentance! And now indeed I prayed with a true sense of my condition, and a more certain hope, founded on the word of God.  Now I had a different sense of these words, Call on me and I will deliver thee, that is from the dreadful load of guilt which oppressed my sinful soul, and not from a solitary life, which might rather be called, a blessing, seeing I wanted neither food nor raiment, when compared living amongst the human race, surrounded with so much oppression, misery, and affliction; in a word, I came to this conclusion, that a deliverance from sin was a much greater blessing, than a deliverance from affliction.  But again I proceed to my journal.