The likelihood of wanting for neither food nor conveniences, might have called upon me for a thankful acknowledgment to Providence.  Indeed, the growth of my corn touched with some sense, but that soon wore off again.  The terrible earthquake pointed to me, as it were, the finger of God, but my dreadful amazement continued no longer than its duration.  But now, when my spirits began to sink under the burden of a strong distemper, and I could leisurely view the miseries of death present themselves before my eyes, then my awakened conscience began to reproach me with my past life, in which I had so wickedly provoked the justice of God to pour down his vengeance upon me.

Such reflections as these oppressed me even in the violence of distemper.  Some prayers I uttered, which only proceeded from the fear of death.  But when I considered my father’s advice and prophecy, I could not forbear weeping; for he told me, That if I did persist in my folly, I should not only be deprived of God’s blessing, but have time enough to reflect upon my despising his instructions, and this, in a wretched time, when none could help me.  And now concluding it to be fulfilled, having no soul in the island to administer any comfort to me, I prayed earnestly to the Lord, that he would help me in this great calamity.  And this, I think, was the first time I prayed in sincerity for many years.  But now I must return to my journal.

June 28.  Something refreshed with sleep, and the fit quite off, I got up.  My dream still occasioned in me a great consternation; and, fearing that the ague might return the succeeding day, I concluded it time to get something to comfort me.  I filled a case bottle with water, and set it within reach of my bed; and, to make it more nourishing and less chilly, I put some rum in it.  The next thing I did was to broil me a piece of goat’s flesh, of which I ate but little.  I was very weak; however, walked about, dreading the return of my distemper; and at night I supped on three of the turtle’s eggs, which I roasted and ate, begging God’s blessing therewith.

After I had eaten, I attempted to walk again out of doors with my gun; but was so weak, that I sat down, and looked at the sea, which was smooth and calm.  While I continued here, these thoughts came into my mind.

In what manner is the production of the earth and sea, of which I have seen so much?  From whence came myself, and all other creatures living, and of what are they made?

Our beings were assuredly created by some almighty invisible Power, who framed the earth the sea, and air, and all therein.  But what is that Power?

Certainly it must follow that God has created it all.  Yet, said I, if God has made all this he must be the Ruler of them all, and what is relating thereto; for certainly the Power that makes, must indisputably have a power to guide and direct them.  And if this be so, (as certainly it must) nothing can happen without his knowledge and appointment.  Then, surely, if nothing happens without God’s appointment, certainly God has appointed these my sufferings to befal me.  And here I fixed my firm belief that it was his will that it should be so; and then proceeded to enquire, why should God deal with me in this manner?  Or what have I done thus to deserve his indignation.