CHAP.  VI. Of the immorality of conversation, and the vulgar errors of behaviour.

As conversation is a great part of human happiness, so it is a pleasant sight to behold a sweet tempered man, who is always fit for it; to see an air of humour and pleasantness sit ever upon his brow, and even something angelic in his very countenance:  Whereas, if we observe a designing man, we shall find a mark of involuntary sadness break in upon his joy, and a certain insurrection in the soul, the natural concomitant of profligate principles.

They err very much, who think religion, or a strict morality discomposes the mind, and renders it unfit for conversation; for it rather inspires us to innocent mirth, without such a counterfeit joy as vitious men appear with; and indeed wit is as consistent with religion, as religion is with good manners; nor is there any thing in the limitation of virtue and religion that should abate the pleasures of this world, but on the contrary rather serves to increase them.

On the other hand, many men, by their own vice and intemperance, disqualify themselves for conversation.  Conversation is immoral, where the discourse is undecent, immodest, scandalous, slanderous, and abusive.  How great is their folly, and how much do they expose themselves when they affront their best friend, even God himself, who laughs at the fool when his fear cometh?

The great scandal atheistical and immoral discourse gives to virtue, ought, methinks, to be punished by all good magistrates:  Make a man once cease to believe a God, and he has nothing left to limit his soul.  How incongruous is it to government, that a man shall be punished for drunkenness, and yet have liberty to affront, and even deny the Majesty of heaven?  When if, even among men, one gives the lie to a gentleman in company, or perhaps speaks an affronting word, a quarrel will ensue, and a combat, and perhaps murder be the consequence:  At the least, he, will prosecute him at law with the utmost virulence and oppression.

The next thing to be refrained, is obscene discourse, which is the language only of proficients in debauchery, who never repent, but in a gaol or hospital; and whose carcases relish no better than their discourse, till the body becomes too nasty for the soul to stay any longer in it.

Nor is false talking to be less avoided; for lying is the sheep’s clothing hung upon the wolf’s back:  It is the Pharisee’s prayer, the whore’s buss, the hypocrite’s paint, the murderer’s smile, the thief’s cloak; it is Joab’s embrace, and Judah’s kiss; in a word, it is mankind’s darling sin, and the devil’s distinguishing character.  Some add lies to lies, till it not only comes to be improbable, but even impossible too:  Others lie for gain to deceive, delude, and betray:  And a third lies for sport, or for fun.  There are other liars, who are personal and malicious; who foment differences, and carry tales from one house to another, in order to gratify their own envious tempers, without any regard to reverence or truth.