Miss Joyce: Sure that was Tannian’s own dog, that had a bit of meat snapped from Quirke’s ass-car.  He is without this door now. (All look out.) He has the appearance of having a full meal taken.

Bartley Fallon: And they to be saying I went mad.  That is the way always, and a thing to be tasked to me that was not in it at all.

Mrs. Broderick: (Laying her hand on Miss Joyce’s shoulder.) Take comfort now; and if it was the moon done all, and has your bachelor swept, let you not begrudge it its full share of praise for the hand it had in banishing a strange bird, might have gone wild and bawling like eleven, and you after being wed with him, and would maybe have put a match to the roof.  And hadn’t you the luck of the world now, that you did not give notice to the priest!

Curtain

COATS

Hazel      EDITOR OF “CHAMPION”
Mineog     EDITOR OF “TRIBUNE”
John       A WAITER

   Scene:  Dining room of Royal Hotel Cloonmore.

Hazel:  (Coming in.) Did Mr. Mineog come yet, John?

John: He did not, Mr. Hazel.  Ah, he won’t be long coming.  It’s seldom he does be late.

Hazel: Is the dinner ready?

John: It is, sir.  Boiled beef and parsnips, the same as every Monday for all comers, and an apple pie for yourself and Mr. Mineog.

Mineog:  (Coming in.) Mr. Hazel is the first tonight.  I’m glad to see you looking so good.

  (They take off coats and give to waiter.)

Mineog: Put that on its own peg.

Hazel: And mine on its own peg to the rear.

John: I will, sir.

   (He drops coats in putting them up.  Then notices broken pane
   in window and picks up the coats hurriedly, putting them on wrong
   pegs.  Hazel and Mineog have sat down.)

Hazel: Have you any strange news?

Mineog: I have but the same news I always have, that it is quick Monday comes around, and that it is hard make provision for to fill up the four sheets of the Tribune, and nothing happening in these parts worth while.  There would seem to be no news on this day beyond all days of the year.

Hazel: Sure there is the same care and the same burden on myself.  I wish I didn’t put a supplement to the Champion.  The deer knows what way will I fill it between this and Thursday, or in what place I can go questing after news!

Mineog: Last week passed without anything doing.  It is a very backward place to give information for two papers.  If it was not for the league is between us, and for us meeting here on every Monday to make sure we are taking different sides on every question may turn up, and giving every abuse to one another in print, there is no person would pay his penny for the two of them, or it may be for the one of them.