It was felt that any further speeches after this momentous announcement would inevitably partake of the nature of an anti-climax.

The Chairman happily interpreted the feeling of the meeting by hurling a copy of Liddell and Scott on the floor of the platform and dancing upon it, and the great assembly soon afterwards dispersed in a mood of solemn exultation to the strains of a Jazz band.  As Mr. WELLS observed in a fine phrase, “We have to-day extinguished the lights in the Classical firmament.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Demobilised One (to massive lady about to make her exit), “EXCUSE ME WOULD YOU MIND TREADING—­ACCIDENTAL-LIKE—­ON THAT MAN’S TOES?  HE USED TO BE MY SERGEANT-MAJOR.”]

* * * * *

THE TENDER-HEARTED BAILIE.

    “Accused broke down in the dock, and while weeping bitterly the
    Bailie fined both girls L1 or ten days.”—­Edinburgh Evening
    News.

* * * * *

    “Lord Burray of Elibank and the Hon. Gideon Murray, M.P., have
    recently had influenza and bronchitis.”—­Scotch Paper.

From internal evidence we gather that his lordship has not yet completely recovered.

* * * * *

SO SOON FORGOT.

    [A cinema has been showing a picture of M. PADEREWSKI, bearing
    the legend, “The new President of Poland:  once a world-famed
    violinist.”]

  The President of POLAND
    Was born to place and power;
  Yet, ere he found his mission
  In filling this position,
  He was a great musician—­
    Men say so to this hour. 
  But, dash it! while the whole land
    Admits his old repute,
  It wonders, “Did this fellow,
  At whom Queen’s Hall would bellow,
  Perform upon the ’cello,
    Or did he play the flute?”

  The day AUGUSTUS JOHN is
    Created Duke of Wales,
  His countrymen will never
  Stop boasting of how clever
  He is at Art, whatever
    (Though Burlington still rails). 
  But one small detail gone is
    From their forgetful nuts;
  Their recollection’s shady—­
  Did JOHN’S artistic heyday
  Mean costumes for The Lady
    Or things for Comic Cuts?

  When HALL CAINE rules a nation
    As Superman of Man,
  His subjects will assure us
  In daily dance and chorus: 
  “Ere HALL presided o’er us,
    Men read him as they ran. 
  For once his circulation
    Spread over Seven Seas.” 
  Yet memory by chance errs
  In these ecstatic dancers—­
  Oh, did he edit Answers,
    Or write “Callisthenes”?

* * * * *

OUR HELPFUL CONTEMPORARIES.

    “But the most pressing of all the questions with which the Peace
    Congress has to deal is the settlement of terms of peace with
    Germany.”—­Nottingham Guardian.