“Ah, but listen,” said another and much agitated Shade, “to what he says of our respected THOMAS GRAY.  The Committee must have forgotten how it goes:—­

“These odes are marked by glittering accumulation of ungraceful ornaments; they strike rather than please; the images are magnified by affectation, the language is laboured into harshness.  The mind of the writer seems to work with unnatural violence. Double, double, toil and trouble.  He has a kind of strutting dignity and is tall by walking on tiptoe.”

The agitated Shade was about to proceed further with his protest when a sound of cheering stopped him.  And lo and behold! an approving throng was circling round the new member, and in the thick of it were JOHN MILTON and THOMAS GRAY.

* * * * *

“FOR THIS RELIEF,” ETC.

From a Girl Guides’ report:—­

    “The thanks of the Association are due to the following ladies who
    have resigned....”

* * * * *

    “Sir George Newman and Mr. Philip Snowden have resigned their
    membership of the Central Control Board” (Liquor Traffic).

    “Caruso has sung at 550 performances.”—­Evening Paper.

All the same, there seems to have been a lack of harmony.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lady (who has called on two successive Wednesdays, the fourth and fifth of the month, and has been told each time that Lady Smith-Robinson is not at home). “BUT I THOUGHT HER LADYSHIP WAS AT HOME ON ALTERNATE WEDNESDAYS?”

Parlourmaid (with dignity). “NO, MADAM.  HER LADYSHIP IS AT HOME ON THE FIRST AND THIRD WEDNESDAYS IN THE MONTH; BUT WHEN THERE IS A FIFTH WEDNESDAY THAT IS TO OUR ADVANTAGE.”]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(By Mr. Punch’s Staff of Learned Clerks.)

My War Experiences in Two Continents (MURRAY) is made up of the diary and letters of Miss MACNAUGHTAN, written during her search for work that might help in the great Task.  The book, it is sad to say, must serve as her memorial to those many whom she has amused by her bright and wholesome stories.  Worn out by labours and quests beyond her strength she fell sick at Teheran in 1916 and returned to England to die.  In 1914 she had done fine service with her soup-kitchen in Flanders, where her energy and almost too tender sympathy had full scope and the reward of good work accomplished.  She seemed also to be happy in her lecture tour on her return to England, trying to arouse the sluggish-minded to a sense of the gravity of the business.  But in her Russian and Persian adventure it is clear that she was deeply disappointed at feeling herself unwanted and useless in a region of waste and muddle.  It is probable that for all her courage and unselfish devotion she was too sensitive to the suffering she encountered