P.M. (restraining his indignation).  Very well; the Court is adjourned to the coal-cellar. (Scene changes to that locality.) Come, this is not so bad!  Very cool, if rather damp.  And now, Constable, go on with your evidence.

Police Constable.  Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night, this man—­

Coalheaver (speaking through hole in roof).  Sorry to disturb you, gents, but as me and my mates are going to put some coals in this here cellar, I thought it good manners to tell you all to clear out.

P.M. (restraining his indignation).  The Court is adjourned to the housetop. (Scene changes to that locality.) Come, this is not so bad!  Nice breeze up here.  A little difficult to sit upon a sloping roof, perhaps; but one gets accustomed to everything.  And now, Constable, go on with your evidence.

Police Constable.  Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night, this man—­

Sweep (entering).  Sorry to disturb you, mates, but I am just agoing to sweep the chimneys; and—­

Police Magistrate (unable to restrain his indignation any longer).  Oh—!!!

    [The Curtain hurriedly conceals the strong but natural
    exclamation.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  EXCELSIOR!  OR, THE DAY-DREAM OF DRURIOLANUS.

Elected Sheriff, June 27, he dreams that he is encountered on his road by the fairy forms of Harry Nicholls and Herbert Campbell.

Voices of Fairy Forms.  “ALL HAIL, DRURIOLANUS!  SHERIFF THOU ART, AND SHALT BE MAYOR HEREAFTER!”]

* * * * *

VOCES POPULI.

AT THE MILITARY TOURNAMENT.

SCENE—­THE AGRICULTURAL HALL.  TENT-PEGGING GOING ON.

Stentorian Judge (in Arena).  Corporal BINKS! (The Assistants give a finishing blow to the peg, and fall back.  Corporal BINKS gallops in, misses the peg, and rides off, relieving his feelings by whirling his lance defiantly in the air.) Corporal BINKS—­nothing!

A Gushing Lady.  Poor dear thing!  I do wish he’d struck it! he did look so disappointed, and so did that sweet horse!

The Judge.  Serjeant SPANKER! (Sergeant S. gallops in, spears the peg neatly, and carries it off triumphantly on the point of the lance, after which he rides back and returns the peg to the Assistants as a piece of valuable property of which he has accidentally deprived them) Sergeant SPANKER—­eight! (Applause; the Assistants drive in another peg.) Corporal CUTLASH! (Corporal C. enters, strikes the peg, and dislodges without securing it.  Immense applause from the Crowd.) Corporal CUTLASH—­two!

The Gushing Lady.  Only two, and when he really did hit the peg!  I do call that a shame.  I should have given him more marks than the other man—­he has such a much nicer face!