“No,” said Frederick decidedly, “mine is the only authentic article.  All others are imitations.  She knows dearest Edward’s size in gloves.”

“Well, we can’t both be right.”

“Did Teddy say anything about expecting two wives?” asked Frederick hopefully.

“Idiot!” said Percival.  “As I see the situation, one of us—­presumably you—­will presently be the central figure in a court-martial or police court on a charge of abducting an innocent female.  The remaining reels in the film will be devoted to Teddy chasing you with a 5.9 howitzer for jeopardizing his connubial happiness.  But these unhappy concluding incidents may be averted if you return the wrongful lady to her rightful owner before Teddy gets back.  So we’ll take the necessary action immediately.”

“But which one are we going to discard if they both claim to be the genuine Mrs. R.?  Hadn’t we better wait for Teddy?  He’d be almost sure to be able to decide.”

“You make me tired.  It’s got to be settled before he comes back.”

It was a brace of dejected subalterns that wended their way to 10 bis, Rue Dufay.  Percival knocked at the door of the drawing-room and in response to an invitation they entered.  A pretty and extremely composed young lady greeted them.

“My wife!” said Percival and Frederick simultaneously.

“Excuse me,” said the lady with dignity; “the only husband I possess at present is Mr. Roker.”

“What I mean to say is,” explained Percival lamely, “that you are the wife of Mr. Roker that I met at the Customs—­I mean, Mr. Roker’s wife that—­”

“Me too!” broke in Frederick.

“Well, that’s easily explained,” said the lady, addressing Percival.  “After you had kindly escorted me here I suddenly remembered that I had left my keys at the Customs House.  Feeling confident of finding my way about I returned for them.  On emerging I was claimed by your fascinating friend who is at this moment engaged in winding up his monocle [Frederick guiltily stowed it away in his fob pocket].  He seemed so delighted at having discovered me that I hadn’t the heart to explain that I’d been found before.  Of course I’m excessively grateful to both of you—­Oh, here’s dear old Teddy at last!”

During the scene of rapturous greeting that followed Frederick showed that he indeed had his moments of inspiration.

“What about a vanilla ice at the Patisserie Delarue, old bean?” said he to Percival.

And, unnoticed by the happy couple, they stole silently away.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lady who has been handed the card of wife of new baronet-profiteer). “ER—­LET ME SEE.  DO I KNOW LADY HOGGINS?”

Butler.  “YOUR LADYSHIP HAS NOT RECEIVED HER SINCE THE CREATION.”]

* * * * *

    “Surplus Government Property for sale:—­Brass Islets.”—­Disposal
    Board “Surplus” Magazine.