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A very mean theft is reported from West Ealing.  Not content with stealing the loose silver a burglar is reported to have stolen the muzzle from off the watch-dog.

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The New Cross Fire Brigade have been awarded a Challenge Cup for the quickest work.  This brigade is now open to book a few orders for fires during August, when they have several open dates.

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We understand that a couple of young cheeses were kidnapped from a Crouch Hill warehouse last week.

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It is a surprising fact, says a contemporary, that when Lenin was born his parents were practically penniless.  The greater mystery is that his parents decided to keep him.

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A statistical expert has estimated that if all the questions asked by Mr. Smillie at the Coal Commission’s sittings were placed one before the other they would lead to nowhere.

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Over one hundred posters illustrating the danger of house-flies have been exhibited in the Enfield district.  It is doubtful whether this will have the desired effect, for it is well known that flies cannot read.

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The price of a first-class interment, says a contemporary, has risen from L3 18s 0d. to L5 15s. 0d.  The result is that many people have decided to try to do without one this year.

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The arrival in England of a rare mosquito is reported by the South-Eastern Union of Scientific Societies.  It seems that the insect had worked its passage to the British Museum.  We think that a sharper look-out should be kept on mosquitoes arriving at our ports.

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A painful episode is reported from Yarmouth.  It appears that a visitor, desirous of taking home a souvenir of his holiday, thoughtlessly filled a bottle with sea water at low tide, with the result that just before high tide the bottle burst, inflicting serious injuries on the passengers in the railway carriage in which he was travelling.

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Out of nine applicants for the post of Language Master at a well-known Public school, eight were proficient in at least five languages.  However, as the ninth man proved to be an ex-Sergeant-Major, the eight immediately retired in his favour.

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We now hear that the question regarding the possession of Kladizatiffagtaliofatoffka, in Poland, which has caused so much of the delay at the Peace Conference, has been satisfactorily settled.  The four Big Powers are to have a couple of syllables each and the remaining three will be raffled for.

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On account of the large number of robberies of safes that have taken place in London during the last few weeks it is possible that an effort will shortly be made to do away with these cumbersome articles in order to stamp out the epidemic.

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The bacteriologist of the Oyster Merchants’ and Planters’ Association claims to have discovered a means of purifying polluted mussels.  To ascertain if a mussel requires to be purified examine the whites of its eyes.