Let it be clearly understood that Mrs. Pat Dearman was a thoroughly good, pure-minded woman, incapable of deceiving her husband, and both innocent and ignorant to a remarkable degree.  She was the product of an unnatural, specialized atmosphere of moral supermanity, the secluded life, and the careful suppression of healthy, natural instincts.  In justice to Augustus Clarence also it must be stated that the impulse to decency, though transient, was genuine as far as it went, and that he would as soon have thought of cutting his long beautiful hair as of thinking evil in connection with Mrs. Pat Dearman.

Yes, Mrs. Pat Dearman was mightily intrigued—­and quickly came to the conclusion that it was her plain and bounden duty to “save” the poor, dear boy—­though from what she was not quite clear.  He was evidently unhappy and obviously striving-to-be-Good—­and he had such beautiful eyes, dressed so tastefully, and looked at one with such a respectful devotion and regard, that, really—­well, it added a tremendous savour to life.  Also he should be protected from the horrid flirting Mrs. Bickker who simply lived to collect scalps.

And so the friendship grew and ripened—­quickly as is possible only in India.  The evil-minded talked evil and saw harm where none existed, proclaiming themselves for what they were, and injuring none but themselves. (Sad to say, these were women, with one or two exceptions in favour of men—­like the Hatter—­who perhaps might be called “old women of the male sex,” save that the expression is a vile libel upon the sex that still contains the best of us.) Decent people expressed the belief that it would do Augustus a lot of good—­much-needed good; and the crystallized male opinion was that the poisonous little beast was uncommon lucky, but Mrs. Pat Dearman would find him out sooner or later.

As for Mr. (or Colonel) Dearman, that lovable simple soul was grateful to Augustus for existing—­as long as his existence gave Mrs. Dearman any pleasure.  If the redemption of Augustus interested her, let Augustus be redeemed.  He believed that the world neither held, nor had held, his wife’s equal in character and nobility of mind.  He worshipped an image of his own creation in the shape of Cleopatra Dearman, and the image he had conceived was a credit to the single-minded, simple-hearted gentleman.

Naturally he did not admire Augustus Clarence Percy Marmaduke Grobble (learned in millinery; competent, as modes varied, to discuss harem, hobble, pannier, directoire, slit, or lamp-shade skirts, berthes, butterfly-motif embroideries, rucked ninon sleeves, chiffon tunics, and similar mysteries of the latest fashion-plates, with a lady undecided).

Long-haired men put Dearman off, and he could not connect the virile virtues with large bows, velvet coats, scent, manicure, mannerisms and meandering.

But if Augustus gave his wife any pleasure—­why Augustus had not lived wholly in vain.  His attitude to Augustus was much that of his attitude to his wife’s chocolates, fondants, and crystallized violets—­“Not absolutely nourishing and beneficial for you, Dearest;—­but harmless, and I’ll bring you a ton with pleasure”.