Say if you like that women
have no sense,
No self-control,
no power of concentration;
Say that hysterics is our
one defence
Our virtue but
an absence of temptation;
These I can bear, but, oh,
I own it rankles
To hear you maundering on
about our ankles.
Tell those old stories, which
have now and then
Been from the
Record thoughtfully deleted,
Repeat that favorite one about
the hen,
Repeat the ones
that cannot be repeated;
But in the midst of such enjoyments,
smother
The impulse to extol your
“sainted mother.”
On Not Believing All You Hear
("Women are angels, they are jewels, they are queens and princesses of our hearts.”—Anti-suffrage speech of Mr. Carter of Oklahoma.)
“Angel, or jewel, or
princess, or queen,
Tell me immediately, where
have you been?”
“I’ve been to
ask all my slaves so devoted
Why they against my enfranchisement
voted.”
“Angel and princess,
that action was wrong.
Back to the kitchen, where
angels belong.”
The Revolt of Mother
("Every true woman feels——“—Speech of almost any Congressman.)
I am old-fashioned, and I
think it right
That man should
know, by Nature’s laws eternal,
The proper way to rule, to
earn, to fight,
And exercise those
functions called paternal;
But even I a little bit rebel
At finding that he knows my
job as well.
At least he’s always
ready to expound it,
Especially in
legislative hall,
The joys, the cares, the halos
that surround it,
“How women
feel”—he knows that best of all.
In fact his thesis is that
no one can
Know what is womanly except
a man.
I am old-fashioned, and I
am content
When he explains
the world of art and science
And government—to
him divinely sent—
I drink it in
with ladylike compliance.
But cannot listen—no,
I’m only human—
While he instructs me how
to be a woman.
The Gallant Sex
(A woman engineer has been dismissed by the Board of Education, under their new rule that women shall not attend high pressure boilers, although her work has been satisfactory and she holds a license to attend such boilers from the Police Department.)
Lady, dangers lurk in boilers,
Risks I could
not let you face.
Men were meant to be the toilers,
Home, you know,
is woman’s place.
Have no home? Well, is
that so?
Still, it’s not my fault,
you know.
Charming lady, work no more;
Fair you are and
sweet as honey;
Work might make your fingers
sore,
And, besides,
I need the money.
Prithee rest,—or
starve or rob—
Only let me have your job!