as water thou shalt not excel,’ seems to be
a description of her character, instead of the progress
from strength to strength that should be experienced
by those who wish to stand in the presence of God.
In another letter she admits that she cannot give a
good account of her spiritual state, says that she
has been surrounded by worldly persons, and that love
of human praise is one of her great stumbling-blocks.
But in a letter written in 1840 the uncertainty has
gone from her mind, and she writes that she has resolved
in the strength of the Lord to serve him evermore.
In a later communication, however, she does not appear
so confident, and admits that she is obliged to strive
against the ambition that fills her heart, and that
her fondness of worldly praise is a great bar and
hindrance to spiritual advancement. Still she
thinks it is no use sitting inactive with folded hands;
and believing that the love of God is the only thing
to give real satisfaction to human beings, she hopes,
with his help, to obtain it. One of the letters
is chiefly devoted to the concern felt by Marian Evans
at Elizabeth Evans’ illness; and another, written
at Foleshill, betrays some humor amid the trouble that
afflicts her about her own future. Their outward
circumstances, she writes, are all she can desire;
but she is not so certain about her spiritual state,
although she feels that it is the grace of God alone
that can give the greatest satisfaction. Then
she goes on to speak of the preacher at Foleshill,
with whom she is not greatly pleased: ’We
get the truth, but it is not recommended by the mode
of its delivery,’ is how she writes of this divine;
yet she is charitable withal, and removes the sting
by adding that more good may sometimes be obtained
from humble instruments than from the highest privileges,
and that she must examine her own heart rather than
speak unkindly of the preacher. Up to this period
it is evident that Marian Evans’ views upon
religion were orthodox, and that her life was passed
in ceaseless striving for the ‘peace that passeth
understanding;’ but in 1843 a letter was written
to Elizabeth Evans by a relative in Griff, in which
Marian Evans is spoken of, and the change in her religious
opinions indicated. She writes that they are
in great pain about Mary Ann; but the last portion
of the letter, dealing more fully with the subject,
has unfortunately got lost or destroyed. The
close association of George Eliot with Derbyshire,
as well as her love for the quaint village of Wirksworth,
and its upright, honest, God-fearing people, breaks
forth in more than one of these communications.”