Happily the General Council of the Bar has not yet assigned any moral embarrassment to a counsel who pleads “Not Guilty,” and in the alternative, “Guilty.”  Watson therefore reasoned that if the jury returned a verdict of “Not Guilty,” his client’s alternative confession could be written off as an obvious mistake; on the other hand, if he were found “Guilty,” the fact of confession would be an ethical asset towards securing for him a lenient view of the case.

As I said, Watson behaved well.  He proved to his own and the jury’s satisfaction (1) that his client did not commit the murder; (2) that alternatively he did commit the murder, but that he did so for the good of everybody concerned; and (3) that in either case he never meant to do it.

In the event the prisoner was acquitted without a stain upon his
       * * * * *
Watson is now well established as the last hope of abandoned causes.  He is a specialist in defence, and criminals of every shade throng to him.  When a new one swims into his ken Watson meets him on the threshold and says, “Don’t speak a word.  Read this;” and he puts into his hand a printed slip.  The slip reads:—­

    “_ Conditions of Advocacy_.

“(1) If you put your case into my hands it ceases at once and from that moment to be any concern of your own.  You are not entitled, for instance, to express any opinion as to whether you committed the alleged crime or not.  That is my affair exclusively.

“(2) If however there is anything which lies so heavily on your conscience that it must out sooner or later, let it be later.  I am open to receive confessions at any time after proceedings have begun.

    “If you accept these conditions, good; if not, go.”

Watson says they always accept them, so he never worries about the General Council of the Bar.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The new issue.

Oil Genie (gushingly, to Coal-Owner and Mr. SMILLIE). “CAN I DO
ANYTHING TO ALLAY THE TROUBLED WATERS?”

[The discovery of oil in Derbyshire, which threatens the supremacy of the mining industry, may affect the questions now in dispute before the Coal Commission.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Harassed Mother (having distributed half of her offspring on laps of passengers). “COME ON, ’ENERY.  SQUEEZE IN SOMEWHERE.  ’TAIN’T EXAC’LY ’OW I LOIKES TO TRAVEL, BUT S’POSE WE’LL ’AVE TO PUT UP WITH IT.”]

* * * * *

AN ERROR IN TACTICS.

In the heart of the Foret de Roumare there is a spot called Rond du Chene a Leu, where eight paths meet.  Why they choose to meet there, unless it is for company, one can’t imagine.  The fact that there is not an estaminet within five kilometres nullifies its value as a military objective.  Therefore, having been decoyed thither by a plausible guide-book, it was with surprise that I beheld an ancient representative of the British Army smoking his pipe with the air of having been in possession for centuries.