It results from this view of the case that it is not wise for a parent to resort to arguing or reasoning with a child, as a substitute for authority, or even as an aid to make up for a deficiency of authority, in regard to what it is necessary that the child should do.  No doubt it is a good plan sometimes to let the child decide for himself, but when you pretend to allow him to decide let him do it really.  When you go out with him to take a walk, if it is so nearly immaterial which way you go that you are willing that he should determine the question, then lay the case before him, giving him the advantages and disadvantages of the different ways, and let him decide; and then act according to his decision.  But if you have determined in your own mind which way to go, simply announce your determination; and if you give reasons at all, do not give them in such a way as to convey the idea to his mind that his obligation to submit is to rest partly on his seeing the force of them.  For every parent will find that this principle is a sound one and one of fundamental importance in the successful management of children—­namely, that it is much easier for a child to do what he does not like to do as an act of simple submission to superior authority, than for him to bring himself to an accordance with the decision by hearing and considering the reasons.  In other words, it is much easier for him to obey your decision than to bring himself to the same decision against his own will.

In serious Cases no Reliance to be placed on the Reason of the Child.

In all those cases, therefore, in which the parent can not safely allow the children really to decide, such as the question of going to school, going to church, taking medicine, remaining indoors on account of indisposition or of the weather, making visits, choice of playmates and companions, and a great many others which it would not be safe actually to allow them to decide, it is true kindness to them to spare their minds the painful perplexity of a conflict.  Decide for them.  Do not say, “Oh, I would not do this or that”—­whatever it may be—­“because”—­and then go on to assign reasons thought of perhaps at the moment to meet the emergency, and indeed generally false; but, “Yes, I don’t wonder that you would like to do it.  I should like it if I were you.  But it can not be done.”  When there is medicine to be taken, do not put the child in misery for half an hour while you resort to all sorts of arguments, and perhaps artifices, to bring him to a willingness to take it; but simply present it to him, saying, “It is something very disagreeable, I know, but it must be taken;” and if it is refused, allow of no delay, but at once, though without any appearance of displeasure, and in the gentlest-manner possible, force it down.  Then, after the excitement of the affair has passed away, and you have your little patient in your lap, and he is in good-humor—­this is all, of course, on the supposition that he is not very sick—­say to him, “You would not take your medicine a little while ago, and we had to force it down:  I hope it did not hurt you much.”