Disputes over dressing-rooms will be arranged between the artistes concerned.

9. Artistes.

The Fairy Queen will be specially employed to create a diversion while the Palace Scene is being set behind.

The Demon King will put a few heavies across in the Grotto Scene.

The Eight Aerial Girlies (under the direction of the O.C.  Flying Corps de Ballet) will make a personal reconnaissance of the front rows of the Stalls in “The Fairies’ Bower” Scene.

The eyes of the Chorus will be worn in the “alert” position during performances.

10. Principals.

Artistes will submit for approval not later than the 10th December the details of their songs and dances.  Comedians will also submit their “gags” and comic scenes for blue-pencilling.  This is merely a matter of form and the strictest secrecy as to their real intentions will be preserved in order that the principle of “springing it on one another” should be maintained.

If twenty people are found in the bar during a comedian’s turn he is liable to summary dismissal.

Cross-talk Machine Fun Fire will be under direction of O.C.  Gags.

11. Music.

Choruses and incidentals will be original.  That is to say, they will be taken from last year’s MSS. and the crotchets moved up one space and the quavers down one space.

12. Rehearsals.

A hot meal will be served after midnight rehearsals and taxis will be provided for those who care to pay for them.  “Q” will arrange.

13. The Audience.

Hostile retaliation is not anticipated, but arrangements will be made to deal summarily with any counterattack.  O.C.  Chuckers-Out will arrange.

14. Organisation.

The goodwill and earnest co-operation of all are solicited to achieve the success which will be advantageous to all, especially to the philanthropic Directors, who are poor men and cannot really afford it.

Issued at 4 p.m.

Copies to:—­

All Concerned.

(Signed) Etc., etc., etc.

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HAVE YOU WATCHED THE FAIRIES?

  Have you watched the fairies when the rain is done
  Spreading out their little wings to dry them in the sun? 
  I have, I have!  Isn’t it fun?

  Have you heard the fairies all among the limes
  Singing little fairy tunes to little fairy rhymes? 
  I have, I have, lots and lots of times.

  Have you seen the fairies dancing in the air
  And dashing off behind the stars to tidy up their hair? 
  I have, I have; I’ve been there!

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WAR THE REJUVENATOR.

    “Rear-Admiral Sims ... is 59 years old and will be 53 next
    October.”—­Saturday Evening Post.

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