She sent a copy of the Australasian, which was a great treat to me, also to the children, as they were quite ignorant of the commonest things in life, and the advent of this illustrated paper was an event to be recorded in the diary in capital letters.  They clustered round me eagerly to see the pictures.  In this edition there chanced to be a page devoted to the portraits of eleven Australian singers, and our eyes fell on Madame Melba, who was in the middle.  As what character she was dressed I do not remember, but she looked magnificent.  There was a crown upon her beautiful head, the plentiful hair was worn flowing, and the shapely bosom and arms exposed.

“Who’s that?” they inquired.

“Madame Melba; did you ever hear her name?”

“Who’s Madame Melba?  What’s she do?  Is she a queen?”

“Yes, a queen, and a great queen of song;” and being inspired with great admiration for our own Australian cantatrice, who was great among the greatest prima-donnas of the world, I began to tell them a little of her fame, and that she had been recently offered 40,000 pounds to sing for three months in America.

They were incredulous.  Forty thousand pounds!  Ten times as much as “pa” had given for a paid-up selection he had lately bought.  They told me it was no use of me trying to tell them fibs.  No one would give a woman anything to sine, not even one pound.  Why, Susie Duffy was the best singer on the Murrumbidgee, and she would sing for any one who asked her, and free of charge.

At this juncture Jimmy, who had been absent, came to see the show.  After gazing for a few seconds he remarked what the others had failed to observe, “Why, the woman’s naked!”

I attempted to explain that among rich people in high society it was customary to dress like that in the evening, and that it looked very pretty.

Mrs M’Swat admonished me for showing the children low pictures.

“She must be a very bold woman,” said Jimmy; and Lizer pronounced her mad because, as she put it, “It’s a wonder she’d be half-undressed in her photo; you’d think she oughter dress herself up complete then.”

Lizer certainly acted upon this principle, as a photo of her, which had been taken by a travelling artist, bore evidence that for the occasion she had arrayed herself in two pairs of ill-fitting cuffs, Peter’s watch and chain, strings, jackets, flowers, and other gewgaws galore.

“There ain’t no such person as Madame Melber; it’s only a fairy-tale,” said Mrs M’Swat.

“Did you ever hear of Gladstone?” I inquired.

“No; where is that place?”

“Did you ever hear of Jesus Christ?”

“Sure, yes; he’s got something to do with God, ain’t he?”

After that I never attempted to enlighten them regarding our celebrities.

Oh, how I envied them their ignorant contentment!  They were as ducks on a duck-pond; but I was as a duck forced for ever to live in a desert, ever wildly longing for water, but never reaching it outside of dreams.