***

A Cranford dairyman has been selling milk at threepence per quart.  In trade circles it is supposed that he is doing it for a wager.

***

According to The Evening News, Councillor William SHEARRING, the new Mayor of Bermondsey, started life as a van boy.  This gave him a pull over most of us, who started life as infants.

***

After December 17th, parcels for neutral countries may not be sent without a permit.  Cement and other articles intended for enemy consumption can only be forwarded by special arrangement with the Ministry of Blockade.

***

The average man, says a correspondent of The Daily Mail, does not know how to invest five pounds in War Loan.  Yet all he has to do is to pay his little fiver across the counter just as if he were buying a pound of tea.

***

The Lord mayor’s Coachman has retired after twenty-eight years’ service.  He was a splendid fellow, taking him all round.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Sociable Escort (to Bosch prisoner, after several ineffectual attempts to start a conversation).  “Ahem!—­Er—­no trouble at home, I hope?”]

* * * * *

An official memo from the Front:—­

“A complaint has been received from the Provost Corps that two horses, apparently ridden by grooms, committed a civil offence in ——­, in that they crashed into a motor car, which at the time was stationary, damaging same.  On being questioned where they came from, they replied, ‘From Australia,’ and after paying a few more like compliments disappeared at the gallop.”

It is supposed that these intelligent animals had been reading a recent article by “Patlander.”

* * * * *

“The R.F.C. on the same day bombed the junction.  There was a large numtity of rolling stock in the station, on which, and on the station building, several direct hits were observed to cause considerable damage.”—­The Times.

“Numtity” is doubtless a dodge of the censor to prevent us knowing too much.  We suspect that “quanber” was what the writer really wanted to say.

* * * * *

    “Mr. Drucker (for the trustees of the Testator) said the late Lord
    Blythswood had made 51 oleograph codicils to his will, and the
    difficulty arose over two of them.”—­Evening Paper.

It rather looks as if the two were not genuine oleographs but only colourable imitations.

       * * * * *
    “American eggs arriving at Manchester yesterday were quoted from
    27s. 6d. to 28s. per 120, which caused Irish eggs to be reduced
    from sixpence to a shilling.”—­Daily Paper.