He glared at me.

“Ah!  Have you the necessary extension which allows you to use a motorcar as a habitation for hens?”

I gave it to him.

Then, frustrated with fury, he thundered at me successively:  “Have you a towing permit?  Have you a dog licence?  Can you produce a boot and shoe grant?  Do you hold any rubber shares?  Have you been inoculated for premature decay?  What did you do in the Great War?”

I gave him the necessary documents in perfect order.  For a moment he was nonplussed.  Then he asked with sly intention, “Have you the champagne and chicken sandwich ration which is apportioned to super-inspectors?”

I handed it to him with a table-napkin (unused) and a pair of wire-cutters thrown in.  For some minutes he remained silent, except in the gustatory sense, then he turned upon me and, handing back an empty bottle, said triumphantly, “You must now produce, under Clause 5005 Gerrard, framed this morning at 11-30 o’clock, one pint of old ale and six ounces of bread and cheese for the sustentation of the sub-inspector.”

I regarded him stonily and leant against the cold, cold bonnet of the car.  Alas!  I had it not.

“Sir,” I pleaded, “I did not know ... give me time.  The next inn is but a few miles.  If you and your companion will take a seat I will bring you to the inn door and all will be well.”

He laughed in my face.

“Algernon Brocklebank Smith,” he said sternly, “you have betrayed yourself into our hands.”  He turned to his myrmidon:  “Get a move on you, Herbert; it’s a bit parky standing about here.”

After all he was but a coarse fellow.

Herbert, galvanised into action, produced a small oblong object from his pocket, lighted the end of it with the glowing butt of one of my Corona Coronas, and placed it underneath the car.  In a few moments all that remained of my three-thousand-guinea ten—­cylinder twelve-seater was one small nut, which was immediately impounded.

I raised the collar of my overcoat (second reef), shifted my face to the eastward, and, notwithstanding the blister on my heel, turned my steps towards my destination.

I uttered no plaint.  I had transgressed against the immutable law.

* * * * *

    IS THE RACE LOSING ITS NERVE?

    “A sensation has been caused by the announcement that Miss Teddie
    Gerard is leaving ‘Bubbly’ to play the leading part in ‘Cheep’ at
    the Vaudeville Theatre.”—­Daily Mirror.

* * * * *

THE “WAR LEADER” AND TWO SENSITIVE SOULS.

[Illustration:  “THE ENTIRE GERMAN ECONOMIC STRUCTURE IS ON THE VERGE OF COLLAPSE,”]

BUT

[Illustration:  “WE SHOULD BE MAD IF WE BLINDED OUR EYES TO THE FACT THAT THEY CAN HOLD OUT FOR YEARS YET.”]

[Illustration:  “THE SUBMARINE CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN AN UTTER FAILURE.  NO SHORTAGE OF FOOD EXISTS OR WILL EXIST”]