Was in a big squeeze the other night coining out of the Opera and overheard Lady Mary Clarges remark to her pretty daughter, “What a crush!” Lady Mary has a big reputation for always saying the right thing.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I tell you that spotted stockings have been seen walking in the park!  Oh, no, there wasn’t anything spooky or seancy about it; the stockings weren’t walking all alone by themselves; they were on the—­that’s to say, they were worn by a very well-known woman, whose stockings are sure to give the lead to multitudes of other stockings!

Am told that the “Back from France” fancy-dress dance at Widelands House, in honour of Captain Lord Widelands, was a huge success.  Winnie, Lady Widelands (grandmother of the hero of the night) was enormously admired as a boy-scout.

I hear that there’s been a great big noise at Middleshire Park.  Lord Middleshire found that Lady M. had asked Lenin and Trotsky to join her house-party at Easter.  Lady Middleshire, who is one of the most beautiful and gifted of our young go-ahead hostesses, assured her husband that she meant no harm and had no Bolshie leanings, but simply wanted to be even with Lady Oldacres, who has secured the Eskimo Contortionists from the Palladrome for her Easter party.

I’ve received mountains of letters asking about sucking the thumb, as introduced by dainty Miss Vanity Vaux in Draw it mild, Daisy.  Only the tip of the thumb should be sucked; those of you who put the whole thumb into your mouths must not complain if you see smiles exchanged round you.  Where the eyes are large and widely opened and the right cast of feature exists, the thumb may be sucked by girls up to forty-five.

Passed the beautiful young Countess of Southshire walking near Belgrave Square yesterday.  As usual, she was parfaitement mise.  Was sorry for her sake, but glad for my own, to hear her sneeze twice, for she is considered to have easily the most musical sneeze in London.  Talk of sneezing, during the ’flu epidemic Madame Fallalerie has been giving a course of lessons, “How to sneeze prettily” (twenty guineas the course), and her reception-rooms in Bond Street have been simply packed.

Absolutely everybody seemed to be lunching at Kickshaw’s yesterday!  Lord and Lady Oldacres were at a table with some of their children, which reminds me of the fact that family parties are rather good form just now.  It’s not at all unusual to see husbands and wives together, and children, both small and grown-up, are quite often with their parents.

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MR. PUNCH’S “SPORPOT.”

The sum of L91 11_s_. 0_d_. generously collected by various schools in South Africa for the “Sporpot” (savings-box) fund, which was suggested in these pages by Mr. Punch’s friend, the late Mr. BERTRAM SMITH of Beattock, has been distributed amongst the Belgian refugees who have spent four and a half years of exile at Beattock and have just left to return to their own country.