CHAPTER XIII.

SED REVOCARE GRADUM!—­

The fatigue, drenching, and terror of the unlucky day’s sail produced their natural effects upon a rather delicate constitution.  Miss Sandford was ill the following day, and, in spite of the doctors, a fever set in.  Her sister-in-law was assiduous in her attentions, and Greenleaf called daily with inquiries and tender messages.  While thus occupied, he had little time to consider the real state of his feelings towards the new love, still less to reflect upon his conduct towards the old.  For the first time in his life he became a coward.  If he meant to abide by his last engagement, honor should have led him to break the unwelcome news to Alice as best he might, and extricate himself from his false and embarrassing position.  If he still loved the girl of his first choice, and felt that his untruth to her was only the result of a transient, sensuous passion, it was equally plain that he must resolutely break away from the beautiful tempter.  But he oscillated, pendulum-like, between the two.  When Marcia began to recover, and he was allowed to see her in her chamber, the influence she had at first exerted returned upon him with double force.  In her helplessness, she appealed powerfully to the chivalric sentiment which man feels towards the dependent; her tones, softened by affection and tremulous from weakness, thrilled his soul; and the touch of her hand was electric.  When he returned to his studio, as he thought of the trustful, unsuspecting, generous heart of Alice, he was smitten with a pang of remorse too keen to be borne.  He tried to look at her picture, but the face was to him like the sight of a reproving angel.  He could not look steadily upon the placid features; the calm eyes turned his heart to stone; the sweet mouth was an accuser he dared not face.  But when next he saw Marcia, all was forgotten; while under her spell he could have braved the world, only too happy to live and die for her.

For days this struggle continued.  His art had no power to amuse him or engross his thought.  His friends were neglected,—­Easelmann with the rest.  His enemy could not have wished to see him more completely miserable.  He knew that he must decide, must act; but whatever might be his determination, he had a most painful duty to perform.  Let him do what he might, he must prove himself a villain.  He loathed, detested himself.  Sometimes he was tempted to fly; but then he reflected that he should in that way prove a scoundrel to two women instead of one.  For three weeks he had not written to Alice, and the last letter he had received from her was now a month old.  He took it from his pocket, where it lay among the perfumed and tinted evidences of his unfaithfulness.  It was a simple thing, but how the gentle words smote upon his heart!