DANIEL Even there, where thou learnest thy oaths and thy politics—­at our master’s table.—­Where else should a serving-man pick up his poor accomplishments?

MARTIN Well spoken, Daniel.  O rare Daniel!—­his oaths and his politics! excellent!

FRANCIS
And where did’st pick up thy knavery, Daniel?

PETER
That came to him by inheritance.  His family have supplied the shire of
Devon, time out of mind, with good thieves and bad serving-men.  All of
his race have come into the world without their conscience.

MARTIN
Good thieves, and bad serving-men!  Better and better.  I marvel what
Daniel hath got to say in reply.

DANIEL I marvel more when thou wilt say any thing to the purpose, thou shallow serving-man, whose swiftest conceit carries thee no higher than to apprehend with difficulty the stale jests of us thy compeers.  When was’t ever known to club thy own particular jest among us?

MARTIN
Most unkind Daniel, to speak such biting things of me!

FRANCIS
See—­if he hath not brought tears into the poor fellow’s eyes with the
saltness of his rebuke.

DANIEL No offence, brother Martin—­I meant none.  ’Tis true, Heaven gives gifts, and with-holds them.  It has been pleased to bestow upon me a nimble invention to the manufacture of a jest; and upon thee, Martin, an indifferent bad capacity to understand my meaning.

MARTIN
Is that all?  I am content.  Here’s my hand.

FRANCIS
Well, I like a little innocent mirth myself, but never could endure
bawdry.

DANIEL
Quot homines tot sententiae.

MARTIN
And what is that?

DANIEL
’Tis Greek, and argues difference of opinion.

MARTIN
I hope there is none between us.

DANIEL
Here’s to thee, brother Martin. (Drinks.)

MARTIN
And to thee, Daniel. (Drinks.)

FRANCIS
And to thee, Peter. (Drinks.)

PETER
Thank you, Francis.  And here’s to thee. (Drinks.)

MARTIN
I shall be fuddled anon.

DANIEL
And drunkenness I hold to be a very despicable vice.

ALL
O! a shocking vice. (They drink round.)

PETER
In as much as it taketh away the understanding.

DANIEL
And makes the eyes red.

PETER
And the tongue to stammer.

DANIEL
And to blab out secrets.

(During this conversation they continue drinking.)

PETER
Some men do not know an enemy from a friend when they are drunk.

DANIEL
Certainly sobriety is the health of the soul.

MARTIN
Now I know I am going to be drunk.

DANIEL
How can’st tell, dry-bones?

MARTIN
Because I begin to be melancholy.  That’s always a sign.

FRANCIS
Take care of Martin, he’ll topple off his seat else.