DAVENPORT
What case?

PENDULOUS
You have not heard, then?

DAVENPORT
Positively not a word.

PENDULOUS
You must know I have been—­(whispers)—­tried for a felony since then.

DAVENPORT
Nonsense!

PENDULOUS No subject for mirth, Mr. Davenport.  A confounded short-sighted fellow swore that I stopt him, and robbed him, on the York race-ground at nine on a fine moonlight evening, when I was two hundred miles off in Dorsetshire.  These hands have been held up at a common bar.

DAVENPORT
Ridiculous! it could not have gone so far.

PENDULOUS A great deal farther, I assure you, Mr. Davenport.  I am ashamed to say how far it went.  You must know, that in the first shock and surprise of the accusation, shame—­you know I was always susceptible—­shame put me upon disguising my name, that, at all events, it might bring no disgrace upon my family.  I called myself James Thomson.

DAVENPORT
For heaven’s sake, compose yourself.

PENDULOUS I will.  An old family ours, Mr. Davenport—­never had a blot upon it till now—­a family famous for the jealousy of its honour for many generations—­think of that, Mr. Davenport—­that felt a stain like a wound—­

DAVENPORT
Be calm, my dear friend.

PENDULOUS This served the purpose of a temporary concealment well enough; but when it came to the—­alibi—­I think they call it—­excuse these technical terms, they are hardly fit for the mouth of a gentleman, the witnesses—­that is another term—­that I had sent for up from Melcombe Regis, and relied upon for clearing up my character, by disclosing my real name, John Pendulous—­so discredited the cause which they came to serve, that it had quite a contrary effect to what was intended.  In short, the usual forms passed, and you behold me here the miserablest of mankind.

DAVENPORT
(Aside).  He must be light-headed.

PENDULOUS
Not at all, Mr. Davenport.  I hear what you say, though you speak it all
on one side, as they do at the playhouse.

DAVENPORT
The sentence could never have been carried into—­pshaw!—­you are
joking—­the truth must have come out at last.

PENDULOUS So it did, Mr. Davenport—­just two minutes and a second too late by the Sheriff’s stop-watch.  Time enough to save my life—­my wretched life—­but an age too late for my honour.  Pray, change the subject—­the detail must be as offensive to you.

DAVENPORT
With all my heart, to a more pleasing theme.  The lovely Maria Flyn—­are
you friends in that quarter, still?  Have the old folks relented?

PENDULOUS
They are dead, and have left her mistress of her inclinations.  But it
requires great strength of mind to—­

DAVENPORT
To what?

PENDULOUS To stand up against the sneers of the world.  It is not every young lady that feels herself confident against the shafts of ridicule, though aimed by the hand of prejudice.  Not but in her heart, I believe, she prefers me to all mankind.  But think what the world would say, if, in defiance of the opinions of mankind, she should take to her arms a—­reprieved man!