Returning home true protestant, you call’d me
Your little heretic nun. How timid-bashful
Did John salute his love, being newly seen.
Sir Rowland term’d it a rare modesty,
And prais’d it in a youth.
JOHN
Now Margaret weeps herself.
(A noise of bells heard.)
MARGARET
Hark the bells, John.
JOHN
Those are the church bells
of St. Mary Ottery.
MARGARET
I know it.
JOHN
Saint Mary Ottery, my native
village
In the sweet shire of Devon.
Those are the bells.
MARGARET
Wilt go to church, John?
JOHN
I have been there already.
MARGARET
How canst say thou hast been there already? The
bells are only now
ringing for morning service, and hast thou been at
church already?
JOHN
I left my bed betimes, I could
not sleep,
And when I rose, I look’d
(as my custom is)
From my chamber window, where
I can see the sun rise;
And the first object I discern’d
Was the glistering spire of
St. Mary Ottery.
MARGARET
Well, John.
JOHN
Then I remember’d ’twas
the sabbath-day.
Immediately a wish arose in
my mind,
To go to church and pray with
Christian people.
And then I check’d myself,
and said to myself,
“Thou hast been a heathen,
John, these two years past,
(Not having been at church
in all that time,)
And is it fit, that now for
the first time
Thou should’st offend
the eyes of Christian people
With a murderer’s presence
in the house of prayer?
Thou would’st but discompose
their pious thoughts,
And do thyself no good:
for how could’st thou pray,
With unwash’d hands,
and lips unus’d to the offices?”
And then I at my own presumption
smiled;
And then I wept that I should
smile at all,
Having such cause of grief!
I wept outright;
Tears like a river flooded
all my face,
And I began to pray, and found
I could pray;
And still I yearn’d
to say my prayers in the church.
“Doubtless (said I)
one might find comfort in it.”
So stealing down the stairs,
like one that fear’d detection,
Or was about to act unlawful
business
At that dead time of dawn,
I flew to the church, and
found the doors wide open,
(Whether by negligence I knew
not,
Or some peculiar grace to
me vouchsaf’d,
For all things felt like mystery).
MARGARET
Yes.
JOHN
So entering in, not without
fear,
I past into the family pew,
And covering up my eyes for
shame,
And deep perception of unworthiness,
Upon the little hassock knelt
me down,
Where I so oft had kneel’d,
A docile infant by Sir Walter’s