The Captains and the Kings depart.

Apparently the Censor cannot admit any reference to the movements of royalty.

[Illustration:  REALISATION

("When I went to Bulgaria I resolved that if there were to be any assassinations I would be on the side of the assassins.”  STATEMENT BY FERDINAND.)]

When the Kaiser was at Windsor in 1891 he told the Eton College Volunteers he was glad to see so many of them taking an interest in the study of arms, and hoped that if ever they had to draw their swords in earnest they would use them to some purpose for their country.  Now that there are three thousand Etonians at the front he is beginning to be sorry he spoke.  The Kaiser, by his own confession, is sorry in another way.  He has told a Socialist deputy, “with tears in his eyes,” that he was sincerely sorry for France, which was “the greatest disappointment of his life.”  Even crocodiles sometimes speak the truth unwittingly.  Meanwhile the Hamburg Fremdenblatt asserts that, “We Germans would gladly follow the Kaiser’s lead through the very gates of hell, were it necessary.”  The qualification is surely superfluous, in the light of the murder of the heroic English hospital matron, Edith Cavell, at Brussels on October 12.  Her life was one long act of mercy.  She died with unshaken fortitude after the mockery of a trial on a charge of having assisted fugitive British and Belgian prisoners to escape.  But her great offence was that she was English.  The names of her chief assassins are General Baron von Biasing, the Governor of Brussels, General von Sauberschweig, the Military Governor, and the Baron von der Lancken, the Head of the Political Department.  Many years will pass before the echoes of that volley fired at dawn in a Brussels prison yard will die away.

[Illustration:  LANDLADY; “’Ere’s the Zeppelins, sir!” LODGER:  “Right-o!  Put ’em down outside.”]

A new phase has been reached in the Conscription controversy, and the burning question appears to be whether the necessary men are to be compelled to volunteer or persuaded to be compulsorily enrolled.  One of our novelist military experts, who is not always lucky with figures, though he thoroughly enjoys them, is alleged to have discovered that there are no more men than can be raised by conscription, but that the same does not, of course, apply to the voluntary system.

The Daily Mail asks, “Have we a Foreign Office?” We understand that a search-party is going carefully through Carmelite House.  We have certainly got a Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, so efficient in the discharge of his duties that he has made himself an accomplished landscape painter in three months.