The Admiralty have decided not to publish the Zeebrugge dispatches for fear of giving information to the enemy.  All he knows at present is that a score and more of his torpedo-boats, submarines, and other vessels have been securely locked up in the Bruges Canal by British Keyes.  The Minister of Pensions has told the House the moving story of what has already been done to restore, so far as money and care can do it, the broken heroes of the War, and Lord Newton’s alleged obstructiveness in regard to the treatment and exchange of prisoners has been discussed in the Lords.  Mr. Punch’s own impression is that Lord Newton owes his unmerited position as whipping boy to the fact that he does not suffer fools gladly, even if they come in the guise of newspaper reporters; and that, unlike his illustrious namesake, he has no use for the theory of gravity.  Meanwhile the Kaiser, with a sublime disregard for sunk hospital-ships and bombed hospitals, continues to exhibit his bleeding heart to an astonished world.

[Illustration:  A PITIFUL POSE

TEUTON CROCODILE:  “I do so feel for the poor British wounded.  I only wish we could do more for them.”

“We Germans will preserve our conception of Christian duty towards the sick and wounded”—­From recent remarks of the Kaiser reported by a German correspondent.]

Now that the Food Controller has got into his stride, the nation has begun to realise the huge debt it owes to his firmness and organising ability, and is proportionately concerned to hear of his breakdown from overwork.  The queues have disappeared, supplies are adequate, and there are no complaints of class-favouritism.

[Illustration:  BOBBY (at the conclusion of dinner):  “Mother, I don’t know how it is, but I never seem to get that—­that—­nice sick feeling nowadays.”]

It is remarkable how the British soldier will pick up languages, or at least learn to interpret them.  Only last week an American corporal stopped a British Sergeant and said:  “Say, Steve, can you put me wise where I can barge into a boiled-shirt biscuit-juggler who would get me some eats?” And the Sergeant at once directed him to a cafe.  The training of the new armies, to judge by the example depicted by our artist, affords fresh proof of the saying that love is a liberal education.

The situation on the Parliamentary Front has been fairly quiet.  The popular pastime of asking when the promised Home Rule Bill is to be introduced is no longer met by suitably varied but invariably evasive replies.  The Government has now frankly admitted that the policy of running Home Rule and Conscription in double harness has been abandoned, and expects better things from the new pair:  Firm Government and Voluntary Recruiting.  But sceptics are unconvinced that the Government will abandon the leniency prompted by “the insane view of creating an atmosphere in which something incomprehensible is to occur.”