***

We felt sure that the statement declaring that Mr. Churchill had in a recent speech referred to “my Government” would be contradicted.  The slight to The Morning Post would have been too marked.

***

In a case at Bow Police Court it was stated that it took fifteen policemen and an ambulance to remove a prisoner to the police-station.  It is supposed that the fellow did not want to go.

***

Too much importance must not be attached to the report emanating from German sources that Count REVENTLOW has been appointed Honorary Colonel to the Imperial Fraternisers Battalion.

***

According to The Evening News a gang of thieves are “working” the West End billiard saloons.  So far no billiard tables have been actually stolen, but a sharp look-out is being kept on men leaving the saloons with bulgy pockets.

***

Addressing a Berlin meeting Herr STEGERWALD said, “We went to war at the side of the Kaiser, and the All Highest will return from war with us.”  If we may be permitted to say anything, we expect he will be leading by at least a couple of lengths.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Film Producer (to cinema artist hesitating on the threshold).  “You’d sooner not, eh?  What do you think I got you exempted for?”]

* * * * *

Commercial candour.

From a Native Tender for Works:—­

    “In last we hope to be favoured with your orders, in the
    execution of which we will neglect nothing that can cause
    you any inconvenience.”

* * * * *

    “In the past quarter there were 19 births (6 males and 13
    females), comprising 10 between 1 and 65 years, and 9 65
    and upwards.”—­Huntingdonshire Post.

The method of dodging the Military Service Acts adopted by these elderly infants strikes us as distinctly unpatriotic.

* * * * *

Looking ahead.

    “Comfortable Home for young lady as paying guest; every
    convenience; near Cemetery.”—­Local Paper.

* * * * *

    “Nothing which happens in Russia ... can alter the bare fact
    that Germany is in extremis.  I am not sure that articula
    mortis wouldn’t be the correct term.”—­John Bull.

We, on the other hand, are quite sure it wouldn’t.

* * * * *

    “‘Is it fresh, salt, Danish, or what?’ one of the shop assistants
    was asked.

    ‘Don’t know,’ he replied, as he wiped the perspiration from his
    brow, and into the heap of butter with his pats.”—­Evening
    Paper.