for this year, “I will hope continually, and will yet praise Thee more and more” Eddy began Virgil to-day. 27th.—­Woke with a strong impression that I am Christ’s, His servant, and as such have nothing to do for myself—­no separate interest.  Oh, to feel this and act upon it always.  And not only a servant, but a child; and therefore entitled to feel an interest in the affairs of the Family.  Albert read from the Silent Comforter the piece called “Wearisome Nights,” which is an exact expression of my state and feelings.  Long to do some good, at least by praying for people.  A note from Mrs. C. Stoddard to my husband and myself, which was truly refreshing. 26th.—­This morning God assisted me out of great weakness to converse and pray with my beloved child.  He also prayed.  I can not but entertain a trembling hope that he is indeed a Christian.  So great a mercy would fill me with transport.

April 6th.—­“I love the Lord because He hath heard my voice and my supplication” (Ps. cxvi.  I).  Albert read this psalm to me nearly fifteen years ago, the morning of the day succeeding that on which God had delivered me out of great danger and excruciating sufferings and had given us a living child.  Our hearts swelled with thankfulness then; now we have received our child a second time—­anew gift. June 8th.—­A.’s holiday.  First strawberry! and first rose! (cinnamon).

July 3d.—­Oh, my dear, dear sister Lizzy!  Shall I never see you again in this world?  I fancied I was familiar with the thought and reconciled to it, but now it agonizes me. [6]

Dec. 26th.—­I do long to submit to—­no, to accept joyfully—­the will of God in everything; to see only Love in every trial.  But to be made a whip in His hand with which to scourge others—­I, who so passionately desire to give pleasure, to give only pain—­I, who so hate to cause suffering, to inflict nothing else on my best friends—­oh, this is hard!...  I write by feeling with eyes closed.  It is midnight; and, as usual, I am and have been sleepless.  I am full of tossings to and fro until the dawn.  All temporal blessings seem to be expressed by one word—­Sleep....  Disease is advancing with rapid strides; many symptoms of paralysis; that or insanity certain, unless God in mercy to myself and my friends takes me home first.

31st.—­“Here then to Thee Thine own I leave—­
Mould as Thou wilt Thy passive clay;
But let me all Thy stamp receive,
But let me all Thy words obey. 
Serve with a single heart and eye,
And to Thy glory live or die.”