You ask if I “ever feel that religion is a sham”?  No, never.  I know it is a reality.  If you ask if I am ever staggered by the inconsistencies of professing Christians, I say yes, I am often made heartsick by them; but heartsickness always makes me run to Christ, and one good look at Him pacifies me.  This is in fact my panacea for every ill; and as to my own sinfulness, that would certainly overwhelm me if I spent much time in looking at it.  But it is a monster whose face I do not love to see; I turn from its hideousness to the beauty of His face who sins not, and the sight of “yon lovely Man” ravishes me.  But at your age I did this only by fits and starts, and suffered as you do.  So I know how to feel for you, and what to ask for you.  God purposely sickens us of man and of self, that we may learn to “look long at Jesus.”

And this brings me to what you say about Fenelon’s going too far, when he says we may judge of the depth of our humility by our delight in humiliation, etc.  No, he does not go a bit too far.  Paul says, “I will glory in my infirmities”—­“I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecution, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.”  I think this a great attainment; but that His disciples may reach it, though only through a humbling, painful process.  Then as to God’s glory.  We say, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”  Now, can we enjoy Him till we do glorify Him?  Can we enjoy Him while living for ourselves, while indulging in sin, while prayerless and cold and dead?  Does not God directly seek our highest happiness when He strips us of vainglory and self-love, embitters the poisonous draught of mere human felicity, and makes us fall down before Him lost in the sense of His beauty and desirableness?  The connexion between glorifying and enjoying Him is, to my mind, perfect—­one following as the necessary sequence of the other; and facts bear me out in this.  He who has let self go and lives only for the honor of God, is the free, the happy man.  He is no longer a slave, but has the liberty of the sons of God; for “him who honors me, I will honor.”  Satan has befogged you on this point.  He dreads to see you ripen into a saintly, devoted, useful man.  He hopes to overwhelm and ruin you.  But he will not prevail.  You have solemnly given yourself to the Lord; you have chosen the work of winning and feeding souls as your life-work, and you can not, must not go back.  These conflicts are the lot of those who are training to be the Lord’s true yoke-fellows.  Christ’s sweetest consolations lie behind crosses, and He reserves His best things for those who have the courage to press forward, fighting for them.  I entreat you to turn your eyes away from self, from man, and look to Christ.  Let me assure you, as a fellow-traveller, that I have been on the road and know it well, and that by and by there won’t be such a dust on it.  You will meet with hindrances and trials, but will fight quietly through, and no human ear hear the din of battle, no human eye perceive fainting or halting or fall.  May God bless you, and become to you an ever-present, joyful reality!  Indeed He will; only wait patiently.