“He jocularly observed, on one occasion, to a creditor, who peremptorily required payment of the interest due on a long-standing debt,’ My dear sir, you know it is not my interest to pay the principal; nor is it my principle to pay the interest.’
“One day, the prince of Wales having expatiated on the beauty of Dr. Darwin’s opinion, that the reason why the bosom of a beautiful woman possesses such a fascinating effect on man is, because he derived from that source the first pleasurable sensations of his infancy. Sheridan ridiculed the idea very happily. ‘Such children, then,’ said he, ’as are brought up by hand, must needs be indebted for similar sensations to a very different object; and yet, I believe, no man has ever felt any intense emotions of amatory delight at beholding a pap-spoon.’
“Boaden, the author of several theatrical pieces, having given Drury lane theatre the title of a wilderness, Sheridan, when requested, shortly afterwards, to produce a tragedy, written by Boaden, replied, ’The wise and discreet author calls our house a wilderness:—now, I don’t mind allowing the oracle to have his opinion; but it is really too much for him to expect, that I will suffer him to prove his words.’
“Kelly having to perform an Irish character, Johnstone took great pains to instruct him in the brogue, but with so little success, that Sheridan said, on entering the green-room, at the conclusion of the piece, ’Bravo, Kelly! I never heard you speak such good English in all my life!’
“He delighted in practical jokes, and seems to have enjoyed a sheer piece of mischief, with all the gusto of a school-boy. At this kind of sport, Tickell and Sheridan were often play-fellows: and the tricks which they inflicted on each other, were frequently attended with rather unpleasant consequences. One night, he induced Tickell to follow him down a dark passage, on the floor of which he had placed all the plates and dishes he could muster, in such a manner, that while a clear path was left open for his own escape, it would have been a miracle if Tickell did not smash two-thirds of them. The result was as Sheridan had anticipated: Tickell fell among the crockery, which so severely cut him in many places, that Lord John Townshend found him, the next day, in bed, and covered with patches. ’Sheridan has behaved atrociously towards me,’ said he, ’and I am resolved to be revenged on him. But,’ added he, his admiration at the trick entirely subduing his indignation, ‘how amazingly well it was managed!’
“He once took advantage of the singular appetite of Richardson for argument, to evade payment of a heavy coach-fare. Sheridan had occupied a hackney-chariot for several hours, and had not a penny in his pocket to pay the coachman. While in this dilemma, Richardson passed, and he immediately proposed to take the disputant up, as they appeared to be going in the same direction. The offer was accepted, and Sheridan adroitly started