One evening a red-headed Connaught swell, of no small aristocratic pretensions in his own eyes, sent his servant, whom he had just imported from the long-horned kingdom, in all the rough majesty of a creature fresh from the “wilds,” to purchase a hundred of oysters on the City-quay.  Paddy staid so long away, that Squire Trigger got quite impatient and unhappy lest his “body man” might have slipt into the Liffey; however, to his infinite relief, Paddy soon made his appearance, puffing and blowing like a disabled bellows, but carrying his load seemingly in great triumph.  “Well, Pat,” cried the master, “what the devil kept you so long?” “Long! a thin, may be it’s what you’d have me to come home with half my arrant?” says Pat.  “Half the oysters?” says the master.  “No; but too much of the fish.” says Pat.  “What fish?” says he.  “The oysters, to be sure,” says Pat.  “What do you mean, blockhead?” says he.  “I mean,” says Pat, “that there was no use with loading myself with more nor was useful.”  “Will you explain yourself?” says he.  “I will,” says Pat laying down his load.  “Well then, you see, plaise your Honour, as I was coming home along the quay, mighty peaceable, who should I meet but Shammus Maginnis; ’Good morrow, Shamien,’ sis I; ‘Good morrow kindly, Paudeen,’ sis he; ’What is it you have in the sack?’ sis he; ‘A Cwt. of oysters,’ sis I; ’Let us look at them,’ says he; ‘I will, and welcome,’ sis I; ’Orah! thunder and pratees!’ sis he, openin the sack an examinin them; ’who sowld you these?’ ‘One Tom Kinahan that keeps a small ship there below,’ sis I; ‘Musha then, bad luck to that same Tom that sowld the likes to you,’ sis he; ‘Arrah, why, avic?’ sis I; ’To make a Bolshour ov you an give thim to you without gutting thim,’ sis he; ‘An arn’t they gutted, Jim, aroon,’ sis I; ‘Oh! bad luck to the one o’ thim,’ sis he; ‘Musha then,’ sis I, ‘what the dhoul will I do at all at all, fur the master will be mad;’ ‘Do!’ sis he, ’why I’d rather do the thing for you mysel nor you should lose your place,’ sis he; so wid that he begins to gut them wid his knife, nate and clain, an afeereed ov dirtying the flags, begor, he swallowed the guts himself from beginnin to ind, tal he had thim as dacent as you see thim here”—­dashing down at his master’s feet his bag of oyster shells, to the no small amazement of the Connaught worthy, as you may suppose.—­Dublin Comet.

    [1] The agent for the MIRROR, in Paris.—­ED. M.

* * * * *

FAMILIAR SCIENCE.

This Day was published, with many Engravings, price 5_s_.,

ARCANA OF SCIENCE, AND ANNUAL REGISTER of the USEFUL ARTS, for 1832: 

Abridged from the Transactions of Public Societies, and Scientific Journals, British and Foreign, for the past year.

This volume will contain all the Important Facts in the year 1831—­in the