same action. This “Why and Because”
was succeeded by another—Why does my fire-grate
grin so coldly? Because you will not be “done
for,” else Eliza could have raised a flame there
for you an hour ago. The truth of this reply
was so forcible that I resolved to “do for myself”
without delay, and evolve the “grand agent.”
I went to the door, expecting to see my usual supply
of fuel; none was to be found. What means this?
said I, and was about to make my wants known, but
changed my intent as quickly, and being a little excited
by such neglect, determined not to be dependent upon
the domestics, but make a fire of my own. Now
then for the materials. Paper, as all persons
know, who have “lit their own fires,” is
the foundation; it was also mine: sundry letters
in reply to sundry unsuccessful applications written
on “thick double laid post,” as the advertisements
say, I seized upon, and thrust their crumpled forms
between the sooty bars of the grate with some wood,
the model of a mechanical invention of my own, which
had been rejected by a Society, and why, I knew not;
I severed limb from limb, and disposed their fragments
across and athwart on the letters previously mutilated.
How to obtain my coal posed me for a moment; but I
recollected that in a geological cabinet under my
window, I was the possessor of a mass of pure Staffordshire,
weighing some twenty pounds. The doors of the
cabinet flew open, and out it came; I had a strong
affection for this lump of coal, having extracted it
myself from the mines, and carried it many a weary
mile on my return home. I felt loth to commit
it to the flames; but this was necessity, “stern
necessity:” one or two blows of the mineralogical
hammer destroyed my scruples, and produced the proper
cleavages in the mass of coal. I laid the precious
stratum, super stratum upon the two former,
and other deposits of papyrus and lignum;
such was my “coal formation.” The
magic touch of a Promethean elicited my “grand
agent” to the thick laid post; it consumed rather
sluggishly, but the dry pine wood of the broken model
caught the flame and entered into fair combustion,
cracking and sparkling, and now and then sending out
a hiss of pyroligenous vapour; hissing yourself thought
I. The fiery example was soon followed by the coal
at first slowly sending up wreaths of dirty, green,
yellow smoke, but as the fire waxed warmer these disappeared,
and vivid hissing jets of ignited gas shot forth in
abundance. The hissing annoyed me; why, I could
not divine; but as the heat increased I cooled from
the state of excitement produced by the testy destruction
of my papers, model, and specimen. I sat down
at the fire; had I not better, said I, have made my
wants known to the servant, than have acted as I have
done? No, I hate asking for what, as a duty should
have been ready to my hands. I endeavoured to
persuade myself that I did not regret the deed I had
done, but could not succeed; something whispered me