THE GATHERER.

  “A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles.”

      SHAKSPEARE.

ONE WAY TO DIE FOR LOVE.

A lady, nearly related to the writer, having a great partiality (though married) for the feline race, particularly lavished favours upon a young and beautiful cat, whom she constantly fed, taught to perform several pleasing tricks, and in short made of the animal such a companion, that she never liked it to be out of her sight.  She had also in her service a cook, who boasted not of partialities for any living creature, save a village youth, for whom she cherished a flame that rivalled the bright and ardent fire of her own kitchen; to him she generously assigned as a hiding place and rendezvous, the corner of an out-house, to which she frequently stole in order to enjoy a tete a tete with her admirer.  Thither also stole puss, either in gratitude for past savoury benefactions, or in anticipation of future.  But the lady of the house, frequently missing her favourite, and tracing her one day into the place of rendezvous, thus unluckily effected the discovery of cook and her swain.  The damsel apprehending that such interruptions to their interviews might, from the gourmandizing propensities of the favourite, be frequent, determined to prevent them for ever; the very next time that puss, as usual, followed her, seizing with savage exultation the harmless creature, she severed with a huge carving knife, its head from its body!  An exploit truly worthy of the tender passion, and the gentle sex!

M.L.B.

* * * * *

George I. was remarkably fond of seeing the play of Henry VIII. which had something in it that seemed to hit the taste of that monarch.  One night being very attentive to that part of the play where Henry VIII. commands his minister, Wolsey, to write circular letters of indemnity to every county where the payment of certain heavy taxes had been disputed, and remarking the manner in which the minister artfully communicated these commands to his secretary, Cromwell, whispering thus:—­

  “A word with you: 
  Let there be letters writ to every shire
  Of the King’s grace and pardon; the griev’d commons
  Hardly conceive of me—­Let it be nois’d
  That thro’ our intercession this revokement
  And pardon comes.”——­

—­The king could not help smiling at the craft of the minister, in filching from his master the merit of the action, though he himself had been the author of the evil complained of; and turning to the Prince of Wales, said, “You see, George, what you have one day to expect; an English minister will be an English minister in every age and in every reign.”

W.C.R.R.

* * * * *

AN “INDWELLING” JOKE.