“’If one has to have a millstone he should choose it with discretion,’ I said.  ’It doesn’t pay to get one that is too inviting.  You’ll have to swim around with yours for a while, and watch your chance to slip it on to some other fellow’s neck.  You don’t want your son to be a millstonaire.  Some day a man of millions may find it a comfortable fit, an’ relieve you.  They’re buyin’ places all about here.’

“Tom left an’ began work on our programme.  The burglary was well executed an’ advertised.  It achieved a fair amount of publicity—­not too much, you know, but enough.  The place was photographed by the reporters with the placard ‘For Sale’ showin’ plainly on the front lawn.  The advertisin’ was worth almost as much as the diamonds.  Tom said that his wife had lost weight since the sad event.

“‘Of course,’ I said.  ’You can’t take ten pounds of jewelry from a woman without reducin’ her weight.  She must have had a pint o’ diamonds.’

“‘Pictures an’ glowin’ accounts of the villa were printed in all the papers, an’ soon a millionaire wrote that it was just the place he was lookin’ for.  I closed the deal with him.  It was Bill Warburton, who used to go to school with me up there on the hills.  He had long been dreamin’ of a home in Pointview.

“They used to say that Bill was a fool, but he proved an alibi.  Went West years ago an’ made a fortune, an’ thought it would be nice to come back an’ finish his life where it began, near the greatest American city.  I drew the papers, an’ Bill an’ I got together often an’ talked of the old happy days, now glimmering in the far past—­some thirty-five years away,

[Illustration:  Bill an’ I got together often an’ talked of the old happy days.]

“Well, they enlarged the house—­that was already big enough for a hotel—­an’ built stables an’ kennels an’ pheasant yards an’ houses for ducks an’ geese an’ peacocks.  They stocked up with fourteen horses, twelve hounds, nine collies, four setters, nineteen servants, innumerable fowls, an’ four motor-cars, an’ started in pursuit o’ happiness.

“You see, they had no children, an’ all these beasts an’ birds were intended to supply the deficiency in human life, an’ assist in the campaign.  Well, somehow, it didn’t succeed, an’ one day Bill came into my office with a worried look.  He confided to me the well-known fact that his wife was nervous and unhappy.

“‘The doctors don’t do her any good, an’ I thought I’d try a lawyer,’ said he.

“’Do you want to sue Fate for damages or indict her for malicious persecution?’ I asked.

“‘Neither,’ he said, ’but you know the laws of nature as well as the laws of men.  I appeal to you to tell me what law my wife has broken, and how she can make amends.’

“‘You surprise me,’ I said.  ‘You an’ the madame can have everything you want, an’ still you’re unhappy.’

“‘What can we have that you can’t?  You can eat as much, an’ sleep better, an’ wear as many clothes, an’ see an’ hear as well as we can.’