Port to Chablis, that could justify our selling the Port-drinker his wine at less than half what he would have to give outside, and charging the Chablis-drinker five-thirds of what he would have to give outside?  At all events, I, as a Port-drinker, do not wish to absorb the whole advantage, and would gladly share it with the Chablis-drinker.  The course I recommend is

Course 3, which is a compromise between 1 and 2, its essential principle being to sell the new wines above their value, in order to be able to sell the old below their value.  And it is clearly desirable, as far as possible, to make the reductions where they will be felt, and the additions where they will not be felt. Moreover it seems to me that reduction is most felt where it goes down to the next round sum, and an addition in the reverse case, i.e., when it starts from a round sum. Thus, if we were to take 2d. off a 5s. 8d. wine, and add it to a 4s. 4d.—­thus selling them at 5s. 6d. and 4s. 6d. the reduction would be welcomed, and the addition unnoticed; and the change would be a popular one.

The next extract shows with what light-hearted frivolity he could approach this tremendous subject of wine:—­

The consumption of Madeira (B) has been during the past year, zero.  After careful calculation I estimate that, if this rate of consumption be steadily maintained, our present stock will last us an infinite number of years.  And although there may be something monotonous and dreary in the prospect of such vast cycles spent in drinking second-class Madeira, we may yet cheer ourselves with the thought of how economically it can be done.

To assist the Curator in the discharge of his duties, there was a Wine Committee, and for its guidance a series of rules was drawn up.  The first runs as follows:  “There shall be a Wine Committee, consisting of five persons, including the Curator, whose duty it shall be to assist the Curator in the management of the cellar.”  “Hence,” wrote Mr. Dodgson, “logically it is the bounden duty of the Curator ’to assist himself.’  I decline to say whether this clause has ever brightened existence for me—­or whether, in the shades of evening, I may ever have been observed leaving the Common Room cellars with a small but suspicious-looking bundle, and murmuring, ’Assist thyself, assist thyself!’”

Every Christmas at Christ Church the children of the College servants have a party in the Hall.  This year he was asked to entertain them, and gladly consented to do so.  He hired a magic lantern and a large number of slides, and with their help told the children the three following stories:  (1) “The Epiphany”; (2) “The Children Lost in the Bush”; (3) “Bruno’s Picnic.”